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Queering Cat Rescue

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Wistful longing for a friend I had but couldn't have (was the story of my life back then). Stuck reading in my Elsinore. Volunteering at the cat rescue centre; I was sixteen. And loosely uncouth. In an intermediary transition where I hadnโ€™t really accepted myself. till resigned and afraid of mum and dad. And then she rolls in; the most spectacular moment. The cage lights become something transcendent. I no longer hear the cats hiss. Forget the hair that makes me sneeze so bad with my allergies. Oh, God, just shut me up. I saw the cuts on your arm. I donโ€™t give a shit if Iโ€™m caught. Iโ€™m gonna steal my dadโ€™s car. This is not how I am, when Iโ€™m with my other friends. I donโ€™t give a shit about them, anymore. I am not who I was. Iโ€™m tired of playing pretend. Iโ€™m gonna dress the way I look and feel like, and smoke in the form rooms. Sapphic poems, cigarettes, cargo shorts with twelve pockets, matching denim and a new record. Joni Mitchellโ€™s Blue playing out the window of the garden summer house; it was 1976. Still new to breaking the rules (way intimate with your fingers). Finding it hard to believe what we have. The night before your veterinary exams. And then they walk in. And we run for the fences. Said, โ€˜we never meant to get so dependent to that well of lonelinessโ€™. To get so close and then lose this happiness. So donโ€™t just bottle it up. You know a rescue still needs love. Would you adopt a lost cause? Iโ€™ll change my name to match yours. I am not who I was, and I have no other friends (I was lying when I told you that before). But Iโ€™ll be your Joan of Arc, you cast as Mary Magdalene. Weโ€™ll escape to a cottage in Dorset. And I love you so much.