Homemade Radio Spot Outtakes

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Okay Hi, every- Take one Take one Hi Hi Hi, everyone who's listening I'm here at the rehearsal hall, uh, The Mothers Of Invention rehearsal hall along with Don Don? Hiya there, gang Don's there And Ian Hello And Jim Hello And Frank Hiya Howard Hiya Myself, Mark And Ainsley hasn't come yet and I'm gonna introduce- ... To you a real good friend, your friend and mine, Eddie And Eddie's gonna do the sales pitch on the album How about it, Eddie? How good, how good do think we pitch this? Hey Eddie, are you kidding? Hiya Cousin Bruce? Yeah This is, uh, big Eddie Sincere out here at Warner Reprise Yeah, right on Honest to God No shit Hey, how's it going, huh? Oh, cool, brother Hey, listen, you got that new album I sent you? The white one? Yeah, the funny looking one with the pencil front Yeah Any action on it? Listen, I really think it needs a shot I mean, these are brothers, you know? They're kids that, that worked their way up From the streets just like you and I did 'Sides, I think we got a hit on that album I think the Mud Sharks, you know, uh, I think it's top 40 I think it's a record I think you should run it up the flagpole I think we can run with it, you know what I mean? Hey, well right on, cousin Okay Outta sight Uptight Okay Goodnight Eddie, are you kidding? Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring Hey, Eddie, Eddie, Eddie We got airplay in Cleveland on that new Mothers album We got airplay in- We got airplay in Cleveland We got airplay in Detroit Call Cleveland Call Detroit You, get me the farmer Get me Detroit Get me Cleveland Hello? Hello? Is this the geater with the heater? Yeah, yeah This is Eddie Sincere Hey, geater, what's shaking? Hey, cool, baby Hey, all right Hey, I hear we're getting some action on that new Mothers record Hey, dynamite, baby I knew you could do it Hey, how's the Mud Shark doing? Kids are bopping to it, right? They're greasing to it, right? 85 On Bandstand pick this week huh? Danceable, huh? Hey, Eddie Eddie Yeah Cousin Brucie just went on the Mud Shark Cousin Brucie just- Oh, get me Cousin Brucie Hello, Brucie, baby Right on, sweetheart Cool, brother Hey, our brothers made it, huh? The record's happening, huh? Beautiful, cousin Hey, beautiful I'll get right back to you Hey, fantastic Fantastic Anywhere else in the country happening? Let me see that board Chicago Peoria Peoria Get me Peoria Hello, Cousin Schleppy Hi, Cousin Schleppy This is... This is... Yes, no, it's not him at all This is Eddie Sincere No, I'm calling for Frank Hey, I really appreciate you guys going on the record Hey, can I buy you dinner when you come to town this week? Fantastic I've got this great little intimate place French cuisine but cheap, you know? I can put it on your card It's quite okay Come right over, I'll give you crepes Suzette so you can't... Fantastic Anywhere else in the country? I'll get back to you Anywhere else in the country happening? Les Carter says he'll play the Mothers' new album Les Carter's here Le- get me Les Carter Hello, Les Oh, fantastic Beautiful, man I heard you playing the record You're a brother of mine Swear to God, man, it's just fantastic I can't thank you enough because you're Really breaking the product here in LA And it really needs it I mean, you know, we're trying to get rid of these white Records and the kids are just trying their hardest, man They're willing to do anything Got a little friends party scheduled next week We'd like you to come along and bring the little liver There's gonna be little canapes Gonna be little snail things Gonna have a little egg thing on the fish It's gonna be fantastic We want you to come and bring along your friends Yeah, it's on us Yeah, the Warner Brothers people are Springing for it and it's really beautiful And now friends, after all of this hype, it's, it's time Now to just settle down and think about the honest business At hand and to forget all the bullshit we've been laying On you for these many minutes and to sort of sing seriously The hymn of the salespeople here at Warner Reprise The Mothers of Invention, Radio Hype Eddie, are you kidding about this Mothers' album? Eddie, are you kidding? Where can I go to get The Mothers' Fillmore East in 1971? Who cares! Eddie, are you kidding? Listen to me My friends say, "Eddie, are you kidding?" Now folks, I am not kidding Eddie, are you kidding? This album does not contain James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young, Alice Cooper, Ry Cooder, Van Dyke Parks, Van Morrison Black Sabbath, Jerry Garcia, Little Feat, Captain Beefheart T Rex, The Doobie Brothers, Mother Earth, Rod Stewart or Dee And I am not kidding Someone asked me, someone asked me, they said, "Eddie, Eddie, listen I read this circular." You guys, the Mothers Are never mentioned in this circular Always talking about- Eddie, are you kidding? ... Tony Mitchell and Neil Young and Alice Cooper and Ry Cooder and Black Sabbath and Jerry Garcia and Little Feat and The Doobie Brothers A whole lot of Doobie Brothers and Mother Earth, you know All they ever say about the Mothers is that They're playing at some power arena some place Now, Dee, we know all this Dee's got a hotline phone number Eddie, are you kidding? And she listens and she knows what those guys are talking about You guys never talk about the Mothers Dee asks me, "Eddie, listen I was listening to the hotline today." Herb He always makes me listen to the hotline "Why doesn't anybody ever say anything about the Mothers' New album, Fillmore East, June 1971?" Eddie, are you kidding? Bizarre Reprise 2024 She said to me, "Eddie, how do you feel about these Mothers?" And I'll tell you something, friends I am not kidding When I first heard about these Mothers- Eddie, are you kidding? ... I just didn't know I, I just wasn't sure I just didn't care And, and I am not kidding But now, our Warner Brothers warehouses on both coasts Are overflowing with what I assure you is the latest And greatest, the largest and finest selection of Portlies, longs, extra longs and cadets in this country My friends ask me, "Eddie, how can you sell $127 35 Worth of music on this new Mothers album for a Mere $3.98?" Well, I'll tell you something, friends You can't It's impossible Eddie, are you kidding? But I can guarantee this, friends Each and every cover is double knit shrink wrap And in living color and hand drawn by Cal Schenkel You salesmen, you guys out there know a Cover such as this is ugly but it's cheap Now, I could tell you this album contained oh, Joe Boyd Lenny Waronker, Stan Cornen and Jeanie, all those heavies But that would be like asking Ian Anderson to play the Flute with both feet on the ground at the same time And I am not kidding I am never kidding about Ian Anderson My friends say, "Eddie, will ever be able to get this Album played on the radio?" Eddie, are you kidding? And I'll tell you what, friends- Hey, hey, hey Woo!