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Ashokan Farewell / Sullivan Ballou Letter
Paul Roebling
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A week before the Battle of Bull Run
Sullivan Ballou, a Major in the 2nd Rhode Island Volunteers
Wrote home to his wife in Smithfield
"July the 14th, 1861. Washington DC
Dear Sarah, the indications are very strong
That we shall move in a few days
Perhaps to-morrow
And lest I should not be able to write you again
I feel impelled to write a few lines
That may fall under your eye when I'm no more
I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in
The cause in which I am engaged
And my courage does not halt or falter
I know how American civilization
Now leans upon the triumph of the government
And how great a debt we owe to those who went before us
Through the blood and suffering of the Revolution
And I am willing
Perfectly willing to lay down all my joys in this life
To help maintain this government and to pay that debt
Sarah, my love for you is deathless
It seems to bind me with mighty cables
That nothing but Omnipotence can break
And yet, my love of country comes over me like a strong wind
And bears me irresistibly on with all those chains, to the battlefield
The memories of all the blissful moments
I have enjoyed with you come crowding over me
And I feel most deeply grateful to God and you
That I have enjoyed them for so long
And how hard it is for me to give them up
And burn to ashes the hopes of future years
When, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together
And seen our boys grow up to honorable manhood around us
If I do not return, my dear Sarah
Never forget how much I loved you
Nor that, when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield
It will whisper your name
Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you
How thoughtless, how foolish I have sometimes been!
But, O Sarah, if the dead can come back to this earth
And flit unseen around those they loved
I shall always be with you in the brightest day and the darkest night
Always, always
And when the soft breeze fans your cheek, it shall be my breath
Or the cool air, your throbbing temple
It shall be my spirit passing by
Sarah, do not mourn me dead
Think I am gone, and wait for me, for we shall meet again"
Sullivan Ballou was killed a week later
At The First Battle of Bull Run
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