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Bar Scene In California
Bill Engvall
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I'm originally from Texas, so I'm used to, yeah. Yeah! You go to a
Bar there, it's a little drinking, dancing, fighting, it's a good
Night. I go to this bar in LA, I walk in the front door, they're
Dragging this guy out, they got him up by the arms, you know, and
He's staggering a little bit, but he's awake. Yeah, it shows you my
Criteria. And I went to the bartender, I said, "What's the deal with
That guy?" And he goes, "Well, here in California, if you're drunk
And awake, we gotta call you a cab." I said, "In Texas, you're drunk
And awake, they call you the designated driver!" We got drive-thru
Liquor stores, man! You don't even have to get out of the truck
It's vroom, margarita, appreciate it, vroom. I went to a bar
One night, and I'm sitting there at this bar in LA, and I'm
Watching this baseball game. I love baseball. I'm just sitting
There watching the baseball game, this guy from LA sits down next
To me and he goes, "You like baseball?" I said, "Oh, man, I love
Baseball." He goes, "Did you know that if Jesus had played ball
He'd have been the greatest ballplayer ever?" Like I'm gonna
Argue that point. So I sat there for a second, I turned to him
And I said, "Did you know that if Babe Ruth had been the Messiah
The Catholics would have beer and hot dogs at communion?" He left
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