hanmis plot
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Tales to be told come this week to unfold
On our blind and brooding stage
The good and the bad and the sane and the mad
In their endless blood ballet
The wild, deranged comes to rattle its cage
We must keep it quiet and tamed
A dance and a song let the mind start to calm
With a touch of peril to grip and hold you
On the edge as events unfold so
Tears sometimes start when one bares you their heart
Alone upon the stage
Sometimes the lie tells more truth than you might
Have seen in light of day
Our villain, Han-Mi, needs a scheme for this week
That could bring this town to fall
Here she comes now to confide to us all
Of her newest plan of avarice thereof
Finally this week break the sheriff
What's the scheme this week that Han-Mi's plotting?
There's a train at 1pm and it's this that she'll be robbing
The money for the orphanage is what the train has got and
You know she's gonna take it all to-
No, no, no, no. I'm not doing it. That is stupid
Yes she is, 'cause she knows it's this week's plot and-
This week's plot is dumb, so a-no a she's-a not-a
It's what the writer wrote!
But the writer is a moron
I came up with a better plot myself
Seriously?
Come on, just try it. I swear, it's like a million times better
All right
So last week, our dear sheriff had been caught and
He was tied up in Han-Mi's dark bedroom for a spot then
Mmm, I wish... Alright, so he escapes
But his shirt is torn right off, so then...
Why does he have to be running around without a shirt?
Really, Helen?
Oh my god, you little horn dog!
Just trust me, it's totally integral to the plot
Guys? Guys, guys!
Can we maybe switch to something
Softly menacing in F sharp minor?
Thank you
If I made a plan today
Something strange
Something sinister, a worthy game
I'd take the vaccines they made
For the babies and I'd change them
So that when the babies take them
They, they would change to zombie babes
And all who watched would gape and pray and while they're
Poised on the edge of their seats so
I'd watch him be the gorgeous hero
If I made a plan today
Something strange
The best plot of this cabaret
Then I would take those zombie babes
And with arcane techniques
Then I would make then fly
And crave to eat your face
And on that day the sky would rain
With hungry little zombie babes
Who'd scream and chase and eat your face
And folks will swipe the air with bats and clubs
To chase away the screeching flying bleeding
Face-eating undead babes
Feeding on your heads
As people strike them with their bats and crying why
Screaming little bodies swooping from the sky
And everyone would scream and cry and while
The chaos reins unleashed about so
I'd watch him be the perfect hero
Jesus Christ, Han, what the hell was that?
I know, it's awesome, right?
Oh my God, I'm so proud of it
I totally thought it up myself and it's like the best evil plan ever
That'll keep 'em at the edge of their seats
Okay, okay, just... ladies and gentlemen, Han-Mi and her evil plot!
All right folks, next up, the sheriff!