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Scene 84–85: Penis Dimension
Frank Zappa
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🇬🇧 English · Original
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Penis dimension
Penis dimension
Penis dimension is worrying me
I can hardly sleep at night
'Cause of penis dimension
Do you worry, do you worry a lot?
No!
Do you worry, do you worry at all
That the size of your cock
Is not monstrous enough?
It's your penis dimension
Penis dimension
Hiya, friends. Now, just be honest about it. Did you ever consider the
Possibility that your penis, and in the case of many dignified ladies
, That the size of the titties themselves might provide elements of
Subconscious tension? Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a
Human being to have to become a politician, a policeman, a Jesuit
Monk, a rock and roll guitar player, a wino, you name it. Or in the
Case of the ladies, the ones that can't afford a silicone beef up
They become writers of hot books. "Manuel the gardener placed his
Burning phallus in her quivering quim." Yes, or they become
Carmelite nuns. "Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated
Member in her slithering slit." Or racehorse jockeys. There is no
Reason why you or your loved ones should suffer. Things are bad
Enough without the size of your organ adding even more misery to
The troubles of the world. Right on, right on! Now, if you're a
Lady and you've got munchkin tits, you can console yourself with
This age-old line from primary school: "Anything over a mouthful
Is wasted." Yes, and isn't it the truth? And if you're a guy and
One night you're at a party and you're trying to be cool, I mean
You aren't even wearing any underwear, you're being so cool, and
Somebody hits on you one night and he looks you up and down and he
Says, uh, "Eight inches or less." Well, let me tell you, brothers
That's the time when you've got to turn around and look that son of
A bitch right between the eyes and you gotta tell him these words