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Disintegration
Spiralist
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
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I don't want to talk right now
So I just leave you with the hint that you're to blame
Secretly I pray you come through
I'm disintegrating on cue
But you don't, and I'm unraveling with shame
It's become habitual
And it feels like I'm crying alone
Like a bluebird is trapped in my bones
And the air is compressing my lungs
And there's blood when I bite my tongue
You put up with this somehow
But now I'm wondering if this is why you stay
You don't hide your rage like I do
I keep quiet not to lose you
And I smack myself to look the other way
It's the only thing that I
Know, well, it seems like I've a lump inside of my
Throat, and I let you douse my heart in kerosene
And it feels like I'm crying alone
Like a bluebird is trapped in my bones
And the air is compressing my lungs
And there's blood when I bite my tongue
And it feels like I'm dying in dreams
Like respite is denied when I scream
And I'm falling apart to the floor
Misspent my years pretending
Like the wounds inside were mending
Just to have your fucking blessing
Big boys don't cry, it's all buried underneath
Misspent my years pretending
Like the wounds inside were mending
Just to have your fucking blessing
Big boys don't cry, keep it to yourself
You shut me up
Now honesty's a frivolous endeavor
Oh, you shut me up
Now I implode again
ย
And it feels like I'm crying alone
Like a bluebird is trapped in my bones
And the air is compressing my lungs
And there's blood when I bite my tongue
And it feels like I'm dying in dreams
Like respite is denied when I scream
And I'm falling apart to the floor
Before you go, won't you close the door?
ย