Uncle Bernie’s Farm
Zappa, Frank & The Mothers Of Invention
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Lyrics
I'm dreaming
Oh no!
There's a bomb to blow your mommy up
A bomb for your daddy, too
(Ouch!)
A baby doll that burps and pees
A case of airplane glue
A hungry plastic troll
To scarf your buddy's arm
A box of ugly plastic things marked
"UNCLE BERNIE'S BARN"
There's a little plastic congress
There's a nation you can buy
(There's a kid, too!)
There's a doll that looks like mommy
She'll do anything but cry
(I see her)
There's a doll that looks like daddy
He's a funny little man
Push a button and ask for money
There's a dollar in his hand
(Check his wallet!)
We gotta send Santa Claus back to the rescue mission
Christmas don't make it no more
Don't you know that murder and destruction
Scream the toys in every store?
(Think this'll sell in New York?)
There's a man who runs the country
There's a man who tries to think
And they're all made out of plastic
When they melt they start to stink
There's a book with smiling children
Nearly dead with Christmas joy
And smiling in his office
Is the creep who makes the toys
We've got this car, when it hits the wall, this, you see
The guy dying. You got the little plastic puddles of blood
Dripping from the bottom of the car. (Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!)
His intestines have plastic intestines you can
Stuff back into his stomach. (Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!)
I've got bombs, I've got rockets, I've got a, I've
Got a Stilton wrench. We've got plastic brass knuckles
We've got a '39 Chevy. (Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!)