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The Smell of Rebellion
Emma Thompson
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
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This school of late has started reeking (help!)
Quiet, maggot, when I'm speaking!
Reeking with a most disturbing scent
Only the finest nostrils smell it
But I know it all too well
It is the odor of rebellion
It's the bouquet of dissent!
And you may bet your britches
This headmistress finds this foul odiferousness
Wholly olfactory insulting
And so to stop the stench's spread
I find a session of Phys-Ed
Sorts the merely rank from the revolting
Come along, squids!
I'll take it from here, Jenny
The smell of rebellion comes out in the sweat
And Phys-Ed will get you sweating
And it won't be long before I smell the pong
Of aiding and abetting
Before a weed becomes too big and gritty
You really need to nip it in the bud
Before the worm starts to turn
You must scrape off the dirt
And rip it from the mud!
A whiff of insurgence
The stench of intent
The reek of prepubescent protest
A pong of defiance
The odor of coup
The waft of anarchy in progress
Once we've exercised these demons
They shall be too pooped for scheming
Some double time discipline
Should stop the rot from setting in
Discipline, discipline
For children who aren't listening
For fiddlers who are fidgeting
And whispering in history
Their chattering and chittering
Their nattering and twittering
Is tempered with a smattering of discipline
We must begin insisting on rigidity and discipline
Persistently resisting this anarchistic mischief
In these minutes you are frittering on pandering and pitying
While little ones like these, they just need discipline
The simpering and whimpering
The dribbling and the spittling
The 'Miss, I need a tissue'
Is an issue we can fix
There is no mystery to mastering
The art of classroom mistressing
It's discipline, discipline, discipline!
The smell of rebellion
The stench of revolt
The reek of prepubescent plotting
A whiff of resistance
The pong of dissent
The stink of moral fiber rotting
(What a champion, Agatha Trunchbull has done it again!)
(What an athlete! What a winner!)
Imagine a world with no children
Close your eyes and just dream
Imagine, go on, try it
The peace and the quiet
A bubbling stream
Now imagine a woods with a cottage
And inside that cottage we find
A parrot called 'Zeke'
A carnival freak who can fold paper hats with his mind
And he says, "don't let them steal your horses
Don't let them take them away"
If you find your way through
They'll be waiting for you
Singing, neigh, neigh, neigh
(She's mad!)
Ah, ha!
And there, just like I said
The stinking maggot rears his head
Have you ever seen anything more repellent?
Have you ever smelled anything worse
Than that smell of rebellion!
The scent of revolt
The reek of insubordination
A whiff of resistance
The pong of dissent
And I will not stop 'til you are squashed
'Til this rebellion is quashed
'Til glorious, sweaty discipline has washed
This sickening stench
Away!
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