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Self Destructive Circus
Abrania
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Woke up with the weight again, another night I fought alone
Broken glass and bloodstained hands, it's colder than a home
Every mirror shows a stranger, eyes I barely know
I hurt myself to feel alive, in pain, I feel control
This self-destructive circus, I'm the ringmaster of the shame
Pushin' all the ones I love away, then crying when they fade
There's comfort in the darkness, when no one sees you cry
These scars don't lie, they sing to me, when hope just walks on by
Whiskey whispers lullabies, needles hum a song
Each hit a silent prayer that maybe I won't last too long
They say I need salvation, but I'm drowning in my sins
And every friend I ever had got tired of who I've been
This self-destructive circus, I'm the ringmaster of the shame
Pushin' all the ones I love away, then crying when they fade
There's comfort in the darkness, when no one sees you cry
These scars don't lie, they sing to me, when hope just walks on by
If I vanish in the morning, would anyone still care
Or would the silence feel like mercy, floating through the air
I scream into the void again, it never screams back loud
But in this pain, at least I know, I'm still allowed to drown
They say I need salvation, but I'm drowning in my sins
And every friend I ever had got tired of who I've been
This self-destructive circus, spinning faster every day
And I can't find a reason to believe I'll be okay
So I'll bleed into the silence, where memories decay
I'm a ghost before I'm gone and I just fade away
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