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Joseph Smith American Moses

Michael Potts
Popularity ยท Low
๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง English ยท Original

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AFRICAN WOMAN And now we wish to honor you with the story of Joseph Smith, the American Moses MORMON LEADER Well this is very good; praise Christ Moooormon AFRICAN WOMAN I'm going to take you back in time (Mormon) To the United States, 1823 (Mormon) A small and odd village called Upstate New York (Upstate) There was disease and famine (so sick) But also in this village lived a simple farmer who would change everything His name... was Joseph Smith Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya Joseph Smith, American Moses Praise be to Joseph, American prophet man JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN) Aye my name is Joseph Smith and I am going to fuck this baby MORMON LEADER What!? No no Joseph, don't fuck the baby. Joseph Smith, don't fuck the baby. AFRICAN WOMAN Suddenly the clouds parted and Joseph Smith was visited by God GOD (AFRICAN MAN) Joseph Smith, do not fuck a baby I will get rid of your AIDS, if you fuck this frog. Hiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiya AFRICAN WOMAN Joseph Smith fucked the frog God gave him and his AIDS went away. Then a great wizard named Moroni came down from the Starship Enterprise MORONI (AFRICAN MAN) Joseph Smith, your village is shit. You shall lead the villagers to a new village Take these fucking golden plates Awaaaaay AFRICAN WOMAN And on the plates were written the directions to a new land. Sal Tlay Ka Siti (Sal Tlay Ka Siti) Joseph tried to convince all the villagers to follow him and his golden plates JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN) Liberation, equality, no more slavery for Upstate Mormon people I got de golden plates (gold plates) I'm gonna lead the people (we head West) We gotta stick together (Mormons) We gotta help each other (we're Mormons) And so we climb the mountain (we head West) And we cross the river (we head West) And we fight the oppression (Mormons) By being nice to everyone (we are Mormons) BRIGHAM YOUNG (AFRICAN MAN) Not so fast Mormons, you shall not pass my mountain Down from the mountain look who comes the American warlord Brigham Young BRIGHAM YOUNG (AFRICAN MAN) Yeeeeeeeeees. I am Brigham Young I cut off my daughter's clitoris That made God angry so he turned my nose into a clit for punishment Brigham Young, his nose was a clitoris What will you do Joseph, will you fight the clitoris man JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN) Not fight him, help him Ooooooohhhh AFRICAN WOMAN Joseph Smith took his magical fuck frog And rubbed it upon Brigham Young's clit face And behold Brigham was cuuuuuuured Joseph Smith magical AIDS frog Brigham Young, frog on his clit face AFRICAN WOMAN Brigham Young was so grateful, he decided to join the Mormons on their journey JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN) Compassion, courtesy, let's be really fucking polite to everyone I got de golden plates (gold plates) I'm gonna lead the people (we head West) We gotta stick together (Mormons) AFRICAN WOMAN Now comes the part of our story that gets a little bit sad (Ooooooh) After traveling for SO long, the Mormons ran out of fresh water And become sick... with dysentery Water go to the water, water go to the cup Cup go to the stomach, shit come out the butt Shit go in the water, water go in the cup Shit go down the stomach, shit come out the butt JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN) Uuughh Oh Fuck! AFRICAN WOMAN Oh no, the prophet Joseph Smith is now getting sick Shit go in the water, water go in the cup Cup go to the intestine, shit go to the stomach Blood come out the butt, blood go in the water Water go in the cup, cup go to the tongue Shit blood in the stomach, shit blood in the mouth Shit blood on the insides, water come out the butt JOSEPH SMITH (AFRICAN MAN) Brigham Young you must take the golden plates and lead the Mormons to the Promised Land Plllllggghh Desperation, mortality, loss of faith Iiiiiiiiiiiii got de golden plates (gold plates) I'm got to lead the people (we head West) We gotta stick together... AFRICAN WOMAN Even though their prophet had died, the Mormons stuck together And helped each other and were really nice to everyone they came across And then one day the Mormons finally found Sal Tlay Ka Siti (Sal Tlay Ka Siti) And there, the Mormons danced with Ewoks and were greeted by Jesus JESUS (AFRICAN MAN) Welcome Mormons! Now, let's all have as many babies as we can And make big Mormon families Fuck your woman, fuck your man, this is all part of God's plan Mormons fuck all that they can We're in Salt Lake City land Thank you, thank you but now we are fucking Thank you, thank you, but God wants us fucking Thank you, thank you, but get back to fucking Thank you, thank you, God Joseph Smith fuck frog Brigham Young clit face Shit come out the butt Jesus says fuck, fuck Mormons!