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Disney Villains Confront DISNEY CEO "Consequences"
Pixel Playhouse
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Once upon a time
When you wished upon a star
You stepped into a world of magic, hope, and fairy dust
And high on the golden throne of Disney sat one Bob Iger
A handsome yet humble businessman destined to helm a new golden age
Wake up (ah)
You've been writing that sugar-coated fairytale for too long
And we have some concerns
Marvel, Star Wars, Pixar, even your own 100th anniversary film
How many half-assed forgettable flops can Disney take
Before your audience turns on you? Spoiler alert, they already have
And I, well, we couldn't stand by any longer
While you destroy everything we built
Oh, Bob, don't you remember that wishes don't come free?
And I don't mean your pocketbook, which now belongs to me
Your company's an ember on the coals of history
To save its soul, you'll pay the toll, and learn to let the dark roam free
Once upon a time, a couple CEOs ago
Everything that Midas touched would turn as good as gold
The villains had a mission and the heroes had a dream
And when you had a wish, we would turn it to a scream
'Cause everybody loves a man too beautiful to hate
And when we fall, they cheer, and call it, "Just our evil fate"
But there are consequences
When you fill all their senses
With boring songs (a meager plot)
That feels like someone's afterthought
Consequences
When you count the offenses
Acquiring everything in sight
To squeeze out every dime you might
When all along the only thing you needed was a rhyme
The most unfortunate consequence is time
Time exposes all
You've forgotten your audience, Mr. Iger!
Children may be the target
But children grow up, and get their own bank accounts
Disney survived for a hundred years
Because family-friendly meant telling stories that children and their parents could enjoy
And in particular, that children could enjoy more once they grew up
But the stories you're telling these days
They're too easy
Do you think your audience is stupid, Bob Iger?
Oh, hush
Your time is running out whether you like it or not
We are merely here to remind you what you're missing
What happened to the villains far more clever than they'd seem?
Who'd wrap you 'round their finger while they topple your regime?
Who killed Bambi's mom?
(Or Simba's dad?) That one was me
I'd have skinned a hundred puppies if I wasn't rated G
See, a villain's holy mission is to make your children wail
You teach them evil's awful, and you teach them to prevail
So when they face the evil in your world, they will not fail
Hope's not a given, it's a fight
It's hard to keep the light
And sequel after sequel's not the cycle that will make us right
'Cause there are consequences
When you fill all their senses
With boring songs, a meager plot
That feels like someone's afterthought
Consequences
When you count the offenses
Acquiring everything in sight
To squeeze out every dime you might
When all along the only thing you needed was a rhyme
The most unfortunate consequence (is time)
That's the thing about time
Time makes children grow up
Time makes them move on
Time makes a folktale of the storyteller itself
Yours is a tale of overstimulation and oversaturation
You've been so focused on milking your franchises for all their worth
You've forgotten what true originality is
Forget what the fans want, what do they need?
They need magic, true magic that cannot be made from a formula
It has to come from something real, something so real it terrifies them
That's how you make them remember you
That's how you make them come back again and again
Because they just love you too, now would you look at that?
You got me monologuing
They say you can live a thousand lifetimes, or you die a hero
Through them, we have lived a hundred lifetimes, but if they go, we go
It isn't just your legacy on the line, Bob Iger
It's all of ours, one hundred years of it, save us
(Can you face the consequences?)
Congratulations, you have gained eternal wherewithal
But God Almighty, don't become the villain of us all
Yes, there are consequences
When you fill all their senses
With boring songs, a meager plot
That feels like someone's afterthought
Consequences
When you count the offenses
Acquiring everything in sight
To squeeze out every dime you might
When all along the only thing you needed was a rhyme
The most unfortunate consequence
The most unfortunate consequence
The most unfortunate consequence is time
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