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Back Home Ballers
Saturday Night Live
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Your girls are back
Kate,
Cecily,
Sasheer,
Vanessa,
Leslie,
Cameron,
And your Lil' Baby Aidy.
We're home for Thanksgiving y'all
And our parents are real happy to see us
So they're gonna treat us like queens
This may be their house
But for the next four days
We're about to run this bitch
Walk in the door, hand my bag to the valet
In case you're wondering - it's my daddy
Head straight to the fridge like a boss yo
Hell yeah - my mom went to Costco
It ain't my house but I'll tear it up
Got a plate real dirty, won't clean it up
Then I roll up to the washer, laundry game on lock
Gonna do a whole load for just one sock
Cuz I'm a back home baller
If I want something I just holler
I do what I want and I get what I want
Cuz my parents miss their daughter
This whole damn house is a shrine to me
Cuz everybody here's obsessed with me
My second grade drawings are framed like Picasso's
If I say "mom, tacos" my mom will make tacos
We always see a movie but it can't be odd
So we settle for Penguins or Madagascar
And as a nice gesture I bought all the tickets
Psych - not a chance! My dad freakin' did it
When my mom needs help I pretend to be nappin'
Even though I can hear all that is happening
It sounds like she really needs help in the kitchen
But if she thinks I'm moving, then that bitch be trippin'
I'm a back home baller
And grandma says I look taller
They wait on me like I'm sickly
That's the life of a back home baller
Taking out the thrash when my neighbours spot me
They swarm around me like my own paparazzi
Talking and stalking they can't get enough of me
Wondering, questioning what's going on with me
"So what's going on with you?"
"Uh... The same?"
"Okay, Jean... Bye..."
Once everyone's in bed I go insane
Heroin, marijuana, crack cocaine
Are not what I want I want cheese on chips
And to put on some very own crisp white strips
Getting free wi-fi like a dope ass hoe
The password starts with seventeen O's
And B 4 5 L T N G then capital X then 3 3 3
Then 1 4 5 8 T D Q and 3 1 4 and double-u
Hold up, y'all don't even know how hip it is at my mom's house
That bitch puts out so many bowls of things for me, it's insane
I'm up to my ass in bowls, bowls, all types of bowls
Chips and mints and seashell bowls
My mom's got a bowl for anything
Potpourri and nuts and err-thang
Bowl on the toilet, bowl on the shelf
Bowl of M&M's, I can't help myself
She puts out these bowls for me
And any bowl I like I get for free
Cuz I'm a back home baller
In pajamas that cost 10 dollars
Tell my mother that I love her more than any freaking other
That's the life of a back home baller
Damn straight y'all!
Love y'all mom and dad, we out
See you in a month for Christmas, we doing this all ag
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