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I Can t Drink Cider Anymore
Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq.
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When we were still young enough to hang out down the park
Never on a school night, at the weekends after dark
We'd always find sources of cheap alcohol aplenty
Buckfast wine, Glen's vodka, Hooch, and Mad Dog 2020
Using everything within our power to excess
Substances to enhance interpersonal prowess
But the wandering guy referred to as the Devil's brew
I can bare no longer, as I'll now explain to you
I can't drink cider anymore
I can't drink cider anymore
A cold lager and lime makes for a rather smashing time
But cider is a thing I can't endure
Teenage drinking was a curse and it left me feeling worse
And other drinks we managed to procure
Now I can't drink cider, I can't drink cider
I can't drink cider anymore
I can't drink cider anymore
I can't drink cider anymore
I'm absolutely fine with a beer or with a wine
And countless spirits one may wish to pour
But a single cider drink will make me throw up in the sink
Lavatory or even on the floor
Because I can't drink cider, I can't drink cider
I can't drink cider anymore
Just to be creative we would often try to make
Clever combinations we might now deem a mistake
Trying new concoctions at a breakneck record pace
Making Sunday mornings an ordeal to have to face
Day trips to the bathroom the finale of the week
Sat behind closed blinds with no ability to speak
But one drink left an effect I would near soon forget
And from those regurgitations I have not recovered yet
I can't drink cider anymore
I can't drink cider anymore
A Double G and tea is jolly good for me
A Jager bomb will warm me to the core!
I am the type of bloke who loves a nice spiced rum and coke
And though I've tried many times since just to make sure
I know I can't drink cider, I can't drink cider
I can't drink cider anymore
I can't drink cider anymore
I can't drink cider anymore
A well aged Scottish whiskey can be a little risky
But makes one feel satisfactorily mature
I can keep on staying out on the ale or on the stout
But cider leaves me bidding friends adieu
Because I can't drink cider, I can't drink cider
I can't drink cider anymore
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