She a Good'n
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He was big for his age, from way outback
Strong as an ox, but thick as a plank
But he couldn't stop wankin', no matter how hard he tried
Well, the truth of the matter, he didn't try at all
Keep wankin' away, head bangin' on the wall
Kept grandad awake, poor bugger in the room next door
And it wasn't that grandad didn't mind a wank
But when someone else's wankin's keepin' you awake
You just gotta have a man to man you just gotta have a talk
So grandad took him out back to the shed
Then brung in a goat that he's specially reared
To accommodate teenage boys and dirty ol' men
And he said "if you get a good'n sooooon you got it good
If you get a good'n' you're doin' fine
So hang on to her with both your hands don't ever let her go
'Cause a good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to find, sooooon"
Now the outback ain't really all that big
'Cause words soon spread around about the kid
They call 'the well hung young goat fucker from Kalgoorlie'
And when the cops went out to investigate
They caught him red handed, he was fuckin' that goat
Up to his nuts chockablok well and truly
And when the coppers tried to drag him off he just wouldn't let go
And kept on hangin' on for life
They were bangin' him with batons, but they just couldn't
And he said to the coppers "no need to be nasty
Wait your turn, you impatient bastards
Form a queue behind me, cause she's a good'n"
And if you get a good'n sooooon you got it good
If you get a good'n' you're doin' fine
So hang on to her with both your hands don't ever let her go
'Cause a good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to find, sooooon
Well the whole town turned up at court that day
Couldn't fit 'em all in had to turn some away
Seems everybody in town wanted to be on the jury
Just so they could tell their friends
They were there the day the day they tribed the kid
Known as 'the well hung young goat fucker from Kalgoorlie'
And when the judge finally swore the jury in
They brung him up from the cells and stuck him on the stand
Then read out the charges that they had against him
And when they finished readin' all the charges out
The jury looked crook and the judge looked down and said
"You got anything to say for yourself? You got a reason?"
Then the kid looked up at the judge and said
"I know none of you's would ever understand
What it's like livin' out in the outback on your own
Yeah and I know me goat ain't a proper woman
But she's got great tits and she kisses good
And fair dinkum judge she'd suck the marrow from your bones"
And the judge looked down and said "Yeah I knooooow"
'Cause if you get a good'n sooooon you got it good
If you get a good'n' you're doin' fine
So hang on to her with both your hands don't ever let her go
'Cause a good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to find, sooooon
A good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to find
"Case dismissed."
A good'n's gettin' fuckin' hard to find, sooooon