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How I Saved Roosevelt
Joy Franz, Lyn Greene, John Jellison, Marcus Olson, William Parry, Eddie Korbich
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That was President-Elect Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Ladies and gentlemen, speaking to a crowd
Of supporters here in Miami's beautiful Bayfront Park.
A group of notables are pressing in around the President-Elect's car.
There's Mayor Anton Cermak of Chicago -
There's been a shot!
I can't see. Wait!
Mr. Roosevelt is waving. He's all right!
But Mayor Cermak has been hit!
The police have somebody in custody:
An immigrant, Giuseppe Zangara.
We take you now to a group of eyewitnesses who will tell us what they saw.
We're driving up close and I see this guy
He's squeezing by
I catch his eye
I say to him, "Where do you think you're trying to go, boy?
Whoa, boy!"
I say, "Listen, you runt,
You're not pulling that stunt.
No gentleman pushes their way to the front."
I say, "Move to the back!"
Which he does with a grunt
Which is how I saved Roosevelt!
Then
Well, I'm in my seat
I get up to clap
I feel this tap
I turn, this sap
He says he can't see
I say, "Find a lap
And go sit on it!"
Which is how I saved -
Then he started to swear
And he climbed on a chair
He was aiming a gun
I was standing right there!
So I pushed him as hard as I could in the air
Which is how I saved Roosevelt!
Lucky I was there!
That's why he was standing back so far
That's why when he aimed, he missed the car
Just lucky I was there
Or we'd have been left bereft of F.D.R!
You think that I scare?
No scare.
You think that I care?
No care.
I look at the world
Not good
Not fair
Nowhere
When I am a boy, no school
I work in a ditch, no chance
The smart and the rich ride by,
Don't give no glance
Ever since then because of them,
I have this sickness in the stomach
Which is the way I make my idea
To go out and kill Roosevelt
First I was figure I kill Hoover
I get even for the stomach
Only Hoover up in Washington
Is wintertime in Washington
Too cold for the stomach in Washington
I go down to Miami, kill Roosevelt!
No laugh!
Not funny
Men with the money
They control everything
Ha! Roosevelt, Hoover
It make-a no difference
You think I care who I kill?
I no care who I kill!
Long as it's King
The crowd's breaking up and I hear these shots
And I mean lots
I thought I'd plotz!
I spotted him
My stomach was tied in knots
So I barreled -
Harold!
No, what happened was this:
He was blowing a kiss
I was saying to Harold, "This weather is bliss!"
When you think that we might've missed seeing him miss-
Lucky we were there!
It was a historical event
Worth every penny that we spent
Just lucky we were there!
To think if I let him get up closer!
I saw right away, he was insane
Oh, this is my husband, we're from Maine
He told me to sit, but I said, "No, sir!"
This makes our vacation a real success!
Are you with the press?
Yes.
Oh God, I'm a mess!
Some left wing foreigner, that's my guess
No!
No left!
You think I am left? No left, no right
No anything!
Only American!
Zangara have nothing
No luck, no girls
I gotta no smarts, no school
But Zangara no foreign tool
Zangara American
American nothing
And why there no photographers?
For Zangara, no photographers?
Only capitalists get photographers
No
Right
Not fair, nowhere
So what?
I'm on the front page
Is that bizarre!
And all of those pictures, like a star!
Lucky I was there
We might have been left
Who care?
Bereft of F
Pull switch
D.R!