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The Next Best Thing
The 8‐Bit Big Band & Scott Wozniak
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🇬🇧 English · Original
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Well, it's Christmas, man, what do you have planned?
Surely something legal and just
Though you must admit that your gifts lack grit
Perhaps this time you should indulge in sins outside of gluttony and lust
Like greed! Now that's a sin!
I know that it's expensive to come up with great gifts
And the hottest games your kids already own
But if you listen to my song
The answer's been there all along
Perhaps it's time to buy a game that's brewed at home
So, maybe
How 'bout the next best thing?
Like this bootleg GBA game called Return of the King
It might not be Nintendo or Square Enix or Sony
But you have to admit that the name's got a ring
Ring-a-ding-ding, it passes the title test!
There's Super Mario Four and 14
Yes, that's real, look it up
They're just as good as Mario Odyssey
You know your kids'll play whatever if it's wrapped up with string
So throw that dirty ROM hack into their stocking
And get the next best thing
I've got Somari and Kirby Red Diamond
Ooh, perhaps you'd like Pokémon Chaos Black
Mario Kart Fighter and Seven Grand Dad
No one will know that they're fake
So cut yourself some slack
You deserve a break, a game is a game
And try to ignore that built-in sense of shame
They can't all be Call of Duty
So squint your eyes, swallow your pride
And don't you dare be snooty
So, how 'bout the next best thing
Just think of all the money that you'll save, cha-ching
For, why spend 70 dollars on a triple-A game
When you could buy a homemade one that has the same name
Shop local, folks!
I understand your reservations
Getting Crash II Advance can sting
But if you give your cash to me
I guarantee you all will see
Though these games may not be great
It's way cheaper to emulate
So trust in Scott and you can't lose
Use the savings for some booze
And this Christmas, you will dance and sing
For the next best thing