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David Lindsay-Abaire
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When opportunity knocks, when possibility calls
Take the bull by the horns, grab life by the balls
You gotta take the reins, break the rules
So you can make your shitty life better
You gotta grab the good stuff before it's gone
'Cause once it's gone, it don't come back
I met a nice guy at the dog track
He was tall, he was Greek, he was possibly gay
He needed a green card, I needed the cash
We got married in Passaic last May
You should've seen the dress I wore
It was haute couture and it was beautiful
You should've seen the dress I wore
Yeah, I stole it
It made my shitty life better
When opportunity knocks, when possibility calls
Take the bull by the horns, grab life by the balls
You gotta earn a buck, turn a trick (he was tall, he was Greek, possibly gay)
So you make your shitty life better
So you're married?
Widowed, actually
What?
It's a long story
I met a lady with dementia (ooh)
She was old, she was sweet, she was legally blind (ooh)
She needed a roommate, I needed a room
I was out of work, she was outta her mind
You should've seen the rings she wore
Let me underscore that they were beautiful
She gave me all of the rings she wore
Yeah, she thought I was her daughter
But they made my shitty life better (better, better, better)
When opportunity knocks, when possibility calls
Take the bull by the horns, grab life by the balls
You gotta catch a break, snatch a purse
So you can make your shitty life-
This is your advice?
To take advantage of sick old ladies?
No!
Not just them!
Hey, hey
When life gives you lemons
When life gives you lemons
When life gives you lemons
Ooh, ooh, ooh
(You gotta go out) you gotta go
(You gotta go out) you gotta go out
(You gotta go out)
You got to go out and steal some apples
'Cause who the fuck wants lemons?
Yeah (when opportunity knocks, when possibility calls)
Yeah (take the bull by the horns, grab life by the balls)
You gotta hustle hard (she was old)
You gotta muscle through (she was sweet)
So you can make your shitty life (she was legally blind)
Better
When opportunity knocks, when possibility calls
Take the bull by the horns, grab life by the balls
You gotta seize those balls (you gotta seize it)
Squeeze those balls (you gotta squeeze it)
So you can make your shitty life (you gotta make your life)
Better
Your shitty little life better
You gotta make your life better
Your shitty little life better
Come on, Kimmy (you gotta make your life better)
You gotta make your life, you gotta make it, you (your shitty little life better)
You gotta make your shitty
Gotta make your shitty life (life)
Better
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