Suction Cup Man vs Peppino

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Lyrics

[Verse 1: Suction Cup Man] "Hey you, get off the tower!" Fuck you, I'm climbing your tower! Next time, try climbing outside instead of inside, Save yourself a couple hours You're a bitch, I wrote you a diss! And it goes a little something like this You’re middle-aged pizza man, desperate for dough Shouting out "look at me let myself go!" Yeah, you gluttonous fuck Get your greasy ass a tummy-tuck You need liposuctioning or something I wouldn't be caught dead with those triple G cups Gustavo is Toppin' your bacon You don't wear the pants, you don't even wear the apron Buddy, I heard you're in debt and I'm terribly saddened So take this, buy yourself a fucking salad! [Verse 2: Peppino Spaghetti] I was hoping you'd slip and you'd fall I guess not, Mr. Stick to the wall Yes, you got it, I'm needing some dough So leave me a loan or leave me alone And for pete's sake could you please wait This tower is mine on the weekdays Take a jump, you miserable lump Perhaps you'll have better luck up on Trump's Pizza pie making Hungry to just get a piece of Piemations Deep fry and bake him Tossing and turning in bed at night Trying to sleep but lie wakened Dream of a day when a Suction Cup Lady might like you enough Just to peek at your feeble two weak dried-up raisin's Ditch you disgusted and drive away far Roll down the window and forget who you are Peppi taking no chance No half-stepping, that oregano dance Pepper on the pressure, I'm shaking with both hands Pedal to the metal on meddling boneheads Make all the jokes that you like, but we know you're pan I'm not the one calling myself Penis Man And if your true love are these suction cup plots Then you should reconsider tying the knot [Verse 3: Suction Cup Man] Ugh! bitch, you stank! That lap there got the P-U Rank It must suck just to be you sit there And see me do everything you can't Who let this guy cook, I’m getting fed up It is your whole job to get your bread up I climbed the corporate ladder in a day Bet you'd suck my dick for a 401K (so do it!) Fuck Fake Peppino, You're Fake Wario Fake Mario, sucker You can stick those "doo-doo"s where the sun don't shine Do your job and hit the John, plumber You're not a veteran, nor are we peers My stint in Korea exceeds your career You're stuck in the crust and I don’t mean the trenches I’m ragebaiting dictators, you are defenseless No Noise, Don't Make A Sound now Each time you sit down, you make the ground pound Nothing to mock for, you're quite the speedster But I'd have the runs too if I ate your pizza Give me hell, do your worst, but I'll never die You have hurt Suction Cup Man zero times A puny paisano with no will to live and no reason to try Back to that guy [Verse 4: Peppino Spaghetti] So the over-glossy photocopy wants to talk You're a cutout of a cutout, South Park off-brand slop With the nerve to lecture me with an outhouse for a house Do I need to make a Bagel just to shut your fucking mouth!? I won't take advice about money from broke nerds Who are the only ones buying their own merch And while you waste time annoying the fuck out of Business Your plushies were going the fuck out of Business The truth is you don't know a thing of my pain You've got absolutely no skin in the game So if I can't kill you and nothing will help Then go buy that rope and do it yourself!