Draft Dodger Rag
Popularity ยท Low
YouTube
Searching YouTube...
Lyrics
We've licked pneumonia and TB
And plagues that used to mock us
We've got the onus and the sun
The smallpox cannot pock us
We found the antibodies
For the staphylostreptococcus
But oh, the universal curse
From Vietnam to Korea
The bug of bugs that bugs us still
And begs for panacea
Oh, who will find the antidote
For pentagonorrhea?
I'm just a typical American boy
From a typical American town
I believe in God and Senator Dodd
And in keepin' old Castro down
And when it came my time to serve
I knew "Better dead than red"
But when I got to my old draft board
Buddy, this is what I said
"Sarge, I'm only eighteen
I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse
I got eyes like a bat
And my feet are flat
My asthma's getting worse
Consider my career
My sweetheart dear
My poor old invalid aunt
Besides, I ain't no fool
I'm a-goin' to school
And I'm a-workin' in a defense plant!"
"I got a dislocated disc
And a racked up back
And I'm allergic to flowers and bugs
And when a bombshell hits
I get epileptic fits
And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs
I got the weakness woes
And I can't touch my toes
I can hardly reach my knees
And if the enemy ever came close to me
Why, I'd probably start to sneeze"
Sarge, I'm only eighteen
I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse
I got eyes like a bat
And my feet are flat
My asthma's getting worse
Consider my career
My sweetheart dear
My poor old invalid aunt
Besides, I ain't no fool
I'm a-goin' to school
And I'm a-workin' in a defense plant!
I hate Chou En-lai
And I hope he dies
But I think you gotta see
That if someone's gotta go over there
That someone isn't me
So have a ball
Sarge, watch 'em fall
While you kill me a thousand or so
And if you ever get a war
Without any gore
Well, I'll be the first to go
Sarge, I'm only eighteen
I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse
I got eyes like a bat
And my feet are flat
And my asthma's gettin' worse
Consider my career
My sweetheart dear
I gotta water my rubber tree plant
Besides, I ain't no fool
I'm a-goin' to school
And I'm a-workin' in a defense plant!
Sarge, I'm only eighteen
I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse
I got eyes like a bat
And my feet are flat
My asthma's getting worse
Consider my career
My sweetheart dear
My poor old invalid aunt
Besides, I ain't no fool
I'm a-goin' to school
And I'm a-workin' in a defense plant!