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The Worst News 2009
Hank Green
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Hank do you remember when all of Georgia fled
That flood that left thousands homeless and seven dead
But while those people drowned and their houses went adrift
The news was about Kanye West... and Taylor Swift
But Rhett & Link, where I really see the news media failin'
Is every time anyone mentions Sarah Palin
They dispatch a dozen camera crews every time she poos
While I can't escape the feeling she's just not news
And swine flu, while a killer, got more love than it needed
Killing 4, 000 people while the normal flu, unheeded
Kills 60, 000 people year in and year out
People like to have something to freak out about
And what about the Michael Phelps marijuana scandal
Just one picture and the media flew off the handle
He did the same thing as our last three presidents
I don't think our priorities make much sense
So many important things happened this year friend
Iran's election and mass recession and Obama sworn in
But to us the things on cable news seem so freaking dumb
And we can only hope that we're not the only ones
Yes, we can only hope that we're not the only ones.
And I don't think the crappy news gets any better than
The scandals of Tiger Woods and David Letterman
It turns out rich guys cheat on their wives
That wasn't news in the year twenty-five
And one of the biggest stories of the whole entire year
Is that Susan Boyle can sing and bring an audience to tears
With all the pretty people auto-tuned, we forgot
You don't have to be hot to the talent Britain's got
And I still laugh every time I see some poor braggart
Proudly holding up a sign proclaiming he's a tea bagger
Besides any confusion about the revolution
I think no matter what they mean the news was an illusion
So many important things happened this year friend
Iran's election and mass recession and Obama sworn in
But to us the things on cable news seem so freaking dumb
And we can only hope that we're not the only ones
Yes, we can only hope that we're not the only ones.
And I think we three can all agree, the biggest load of poo
Was that balloon boy Falcon who was not in the balloon
Just another year where we kept the world alive
We didn't pay attention but we somehow didn't die
So many important things happened this year friend
Iran's election and mass recession and Obama sworn in
But to us the things on cable news SEEM SO FREAKING DUMB
And we can only hope that we're not the only ones
Yes, we can only hope that we're not the only ones.
But since they're still reporting it...
We just might be the only ones.
Happy New Year, Hank.
And the other one.
Your brother.
Think his name is Don.
John.
John.
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