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Jim Norton's Motivational Tapes
Jim Norton
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Feeling low?
The best way to not feel like a worthless douchebag
Is to listen to an even bigger piece of crap
I am awful
With the Jim Norton motivational tapes
You'll feel better about yourself instantly
I stink
Hate your body?
Take it from Jim
I'm a meaty, breasted little nothing
It could be a lot worse
This sucks
Problems at work?
I effed up an ABC audition today
Hey, at least you have a job
Everything I do, I look like the Manchurian Candidate
You'll be amazed at how much confidence you have
After you listen to a mushy little nothing tool on himself for hours on end
Shut up chinless, I'm nuts! Almost 13 years I'm doing comedy!
God, there is no justice in this world, it sucks!
You have the warmth of a trout
What a retard I am
Does anybody not see the disgrace in this?
Everyone loves Jim's inspirational live appearances
It's a night of pale, meaty-breasted dullness
Coming to a town near you
On Margaritaville, I don't sing ever, you idiots!
Stay tuned for details
Just f- listen to the station and get tickets, you douchebag
Love yourself, hate him
I suck
With the Jim Norton motivational tapes
That's me, Jim Norton, folks, urgh
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