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Behind these Walls
Xania Monet
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Hmm
I ain't seen my mama in months
My girl stop callin' 'cause I know I can't come
He says it's love, but why does love feel like a cage?
Mm, mm
I don't recognise this version of me
Used to laugh loud, used to move free
Now everywhere you goin' feel like an interrogation
Every step I take comes with permission
My phone lights up, I turn it faced down
'Cause even a smile could start a war
My friends don't even bother no more
They tired of hearin' me sayin' "I can't tonight
He wouldn't like that"
He called it love, but love don't sound like silence
Love don't feel like hidin'
I swear on my heart
Forgot what freedom feels like
I'm locked up behind these walls
Cryin' now, but you don't hear me at all
You got the key, but you won't set me free
And I'm losin' myself tryna love you more than me
I can't breathe, I can't move
I'm alive, but I'm not livin', if this is love
Why does it feel like prison?
I used to dream about my future
Now I just dream about the door
Wonder how it feels to walk outside and not feel watched anymore
Mama texts me, says she miss me
I don't reply 'cause you're starin' me down
You got me scared to love my own blood
And somehow I've been convincin' myself that's okay
But it's not
God, it's not okay
I can't wear what I want, can't laugh too loud
Can't answer when my best friend calls
I can't even be the girl I used to be
You broke her, you built a stranger in my place, yeah, yeah
Locked up behind these walls
Beggin' for freedom, but you won't let me fall
You got the key, but you won't set me free
And I'm fadin' away, a little more of me
Every day, I can't breathe, I can't move
I'm alive, but I'm not livin' if this is love
Why does it feel like prison?
I thought love was wings
But somehow, you clipped mine
Now, I don't even know if I'll ever fly again
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