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Celebrity Fit Club
Ralphie May
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I got angry after I did a show called celebrity fan club
Maybe something out side, good show
And eah, I had to workout yeah
I've had to loss a lot of weight
I've lost like 270 pounds in the last two years
Don't clap if you didn't clap your right
Don't clap its not a real accomplishment
You lose a whole fat man you still fat as hell
Like yeah yeah am in Five X alright great
But am doing my part am trying
Am working them for it
You know it's not easy
But uhh, doing the show I gat a trainer
I had to get one, I gat a girl trainer
Not that am sexist
I just didn't want to get T bagged on the bench press
And uhh, you can understand with fellas
You over there pressing weights
And one of the twin hits you one on the head
You don't want that on your resume
Right brother uhh-uhh-uhh
Like uhh-uhh-uhh breathe in dude breathe in
Uhh-uhh-uhh-uhh
We had a problem, my trainer and I had a problem
And the problem was
She didn't count the warm up as part of the work out
Am like if I'm in the gym and am sweating, am working out okay
Am fat and thats a fat code
Warm up was me getting here
She said she wanted to me to start working out on the on the treadmill
She goes I wanted you to start working out on the treadmill
And I already didn't like it
If y'all don't know this
If your a little fat you know what am talking about
There's three enemy of fat people
And uh, I know alot of y'all think salad is one of them
No we like salad they delicious
They are they yummy
But three of the one we hate are treadmill for obvious reasons
Okay uhh, booths in restaurant were the table doesn't move
Hey thank you for sitting me in a none movable booths I really
Hey can you give me a big knife and I can gut my self open
So I can slide in here please, I appreciate that thank you
After when am done I'd lean back
And y'all count the ring and see how old am I
How about that, that would be fun wouldn't it?
Cut the fat in me lets go
And weaker, weaker are the third worst enemy yeah without a doubt
If you have weaker your just saying I hate fat people
Thats why I have no qualms if I saying this
If you own weakers I don't like you
Thats right screw you and the pair one you bought her that
How about that bitch
Yeah, what am about to say
Uhh thank you for the weakers
Thanks for thats for making my ass look a honey baked ham
I really appreciate that
For shatters and seen splitters in my ass I really thank you
Thank you so much
So she wanted me to walk on the treadmill okay
Alright, I gatto be honest with you
First two miles, I has a pretty good clip going right
But the last two miles, woo
I built up a friction on my thighs you can light a cigarette on
I ain't ganna lie to you y'all, woo
Had sparks coming off my crutch it wasn't right
I was a fire hazard
Don't walk through the woods like that fatty, no-uh
Burn is down, woo
I try to counteract it like lot of fat folks do
I put uhh a lot of powder down there
Had so much powder down on my crutch, it looks like I had molesting donut
It wasn't right, and then
Anyway between mile three and four
I started sweeting on my pan cakes you know
All my uhh powder turned to pan cake about then
Lets make a little seven dollar flat jacks right there, on the damn treadmill
Hey welcome, com'on get you one
Flay jack uhm-uhm-uhm
I was working out I was soar all the time
Thats where I had the habit of keeping my hands in my pockets
I uhm, my friends will ask me
Dude why are your hand in your pocket
Cause my arms hurt
I was soar all the time
You know like naah eah, really watch this
Ouch
It's just going crazy they had me on a diet, I was losing my mind
12 hundred calorie a day
Yeah, folks I used to do that in a bite
It was driving me nuts I was watching
The damn food channel like it was porn
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