Step 2: Let the Rain Fall Down
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Step two: Let the Rain Fall Down
Look
It's coming
It's like a tidal wave, the grief
It's happening
And you cannot outrun it
At this point, you probably feel like the walls are closing in on you
And that's going to happen, that's natural
And the harder you run, the harder it will hit you
So you have to lean in
For me, I tried so hard to outrun this step
I had this unsootheable pain in my body that just wouldn't go away
And one night, I was standing in my apartment
I have this floor-to-ceiling bookcase in my apartment
It's so beautiful
And I was staring at it with this horrible pain
And I thought, "I cannot fix anything, I can't, but this
This bookcase, I am going to fix."
So at 1 a.m. I took all the books out of the bookcase
And I decided I was gonna color-coordinate everything
And I put the reds with the reds, and the blues with the blues
And the greens with the greens
But nothing would work
Nothing would help this pain subside
Cut to me at 4 a.m. hysterically crying, dry heaving
For everything I hadn't let myself feel
For the love that I felt like I was left holding the bag
For the expectations that will never be fulfilled
For the person I was never gonna get to be
Because the grief comes
And you cannot go around it
And the only way out is through