Skip to content

Middle Class Problems

Dr. Syntax, Pete Cannon
Popularity ยท Low
๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง English ยท Original

YouTube

Searching YouTube...

Lyrics

*Cheeky Banter* I've got middle class problems They always hold me back The binman can't get down my coaley sack There's bollards at the top to reduce congestion It's these sorts of things that induce depression I've got middle class problems They're always in the way The co-op no longer stocks lemon sorbet This has left me a bit depressed Now what will I serve my lactose intolerant dinner guest I need to sow a hole in my sock up It's four a clock on a sunday afternoon, what a cock up Just like that calamity struck Cause I just found out the haberdashery's shut They've got all types of needles and lot's of cotton, any other time, not a problem That's it, that's the end of it, case closed Fuck it, I'll go and get some more socks from Waitros Is that even a thing? It's not exactly Asda I might just cop some parma ham and a ciabatta Plus it stays open 'til a reasonable time I'll get some pie and feta for some peace of mind I've got middle class problems They always hold me back The binman can't get down my coaley sack There's bollards at the top to reduce congestion It's these sorts of things that induce depression I've got middle class problems They're always in the way The co-op no longer stocks lemon sorbet This has left me a bit depressed Now what will I serve my lactose intolerant dinner guest In Bolivia, recently, time's have been hard Cause people like me have raised the price quinoa With our ceaseless demand I'm a glutton for seeds This has left the locals with nothing to eat For a conscientious liberal This is not a good look Things would be abysmal but I've still got some couscous All I wanna do is eat sensible carbs from an ethical harvest It's led to some hardship We've had a wet spring I feel I'm getting jaded My herb garden's looking completely devestated The thymes alright cause it's quite robust But the rest is just food for the locust I've got middle class problems They always hold me back The binman can't get down my coaley sack There's bollards at the top to reduce congestion It's these sorts of things that induce depression I've got middle class problems They're always in the way The co-op no longer stocks lemon sorbet This has left me a bit depressed Now what will I serve my lactose intolerant dinner guest My neighbour explained that we're in a competition To be the most pleasant street in the whole of Britian Well, whoop de doo, shit the bed Would I do the gracious thing and trim the hedge I forgot As you might have guessed he's fuming I woke up to the sound of aggressive pruning Ten minutes before the adjudicators arrived Now he doesn't look me in the eye when I say hi My soufflรฉ flopped, my internets down, I've got a gay dog (Flamboyant "Woff") How did I let my life get this shit? I've lost my Neils Yard lip balm, it cost twenty quid "I could just get another one But then if the original one then turns up then I've got two And it's organic so I don't know if it's perishable It might just go off, is that? I don't know if that happens." I've got middle class problems They always hold me back The binman can't get down my coaley sack There's bollards at the top to reduce congestion It's these sorts of things that induce depression I've got middle class problems They're always in the way The co-op no longer stocks lemon sorbet This has left me a bit depressed Now what will I serve my lactose intolerant dinner guest *Indistinguishable bollocks*