Where’s the Enemy?
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Where's the enemy, oh where's the enemy
Oh we just turn 'round for a minute and he's gone
Oh where's the enemy, oh where's the enemy
Without the enemy, how can normal life go on
We need someone to deter
So where's the bound or where's the curb
Where's the evil empire we all loathed and feared
Where's the enemy 'cause we need him
To show where the boys have fight for freedom
Where has the enemy disappeared
I remember well the morning
Woken by the siren's warning
"To the bunker", came the cry and down we fled
Said our commander: "Men I fear
That there's a menace blooming near us
And it's godless, and it's ruthless, and it's red
But we'll teach the bear a lesson
By forestalling his aggression
A preemptive strike will catch him on the hop
So wave your flags and nuclear missiles
And let's have no cowardice
I'll say the word let's go in so over the top"
But there, to our surprise
A Russian near there met our eyes
People sunbathing and swimming in the lake
There was Vanya, there was Masha
Playing chess and eating kasha
And I think I thought we'd made a big mistake
And as we turned to go back they began to dance a gopak
You know how Russians like to leap about
Singing comrades now's your chance
Lay down your arms and join the dance
It was then we heard our great commander shout
Where's the enemy, oh where's the enemy
He was here last time I looked and now he's gone
Oh where's the enemy, oh where's the enemy
Without the enemy, how can normal life go on
We need someone to deter
So where's that son of Lucifer
Where's the evil empire we all loathed and feared
Oh where's the enemy 'cause we need him
To show where the boys have fight for freedom
Where has the enemy disappeared
Then at midnight came the order
Sitting just across the border
It's the enemy of decency and truth
He's a pornographic fuck who trafficks in illicit drugs
To corrupt the finest flower of our youth
He is darkness, he is evil
And he drinks blood with a devil
And you'll know him by his crimson underwear
And to hear the villain brag of how he spits upon our flag
Is an insult that this nation will not bear
It's our mission to arrest him
But first, we're going to test him
By zapping him with everything we've got
So with gunships, tanks and mortars
We bombarded his headquarters
Till there was nothing left to mark the spot
And we went in at the double
And we rummaged through the rubble
But we couldn't find a trace of him at all
Said our commander: "It's black magic"
And he used unseemly adjectives
And puffing out his chest began to bawl
Where's the enemy, oh where's the enemy
Surely somebody somewhere must have caught a glimpse
Of the enemy, oh we need the enemy
Because how else could we be sure that we're not wimps
Where's that vicious reprobate
We need somebody to hate
Someone preferrably foreign, dark and weird
So that decent folk can see that we're the bulwark of democracy
And where has the enemy disappeared
Said our commander "Learn to know
The folk conspiring to overthrow
Those freedoms that the law guaranteed
Flying pickets, workers, strikers causing mayhem and the likeness
They attempt to bring this country to his knees
Mobs of mindless demonstrators led by outside agitators
Bully boys who must not be allowed to win
If these scroungers, troublemakers ban the bombers and all breakers
These are always at the enemy within
So get ready for the fray
We must keep panicky at bay
Grab your truncheons and your empty riot gear"
So off we charge in strict formation
To keep order in the nation
As we waited for the enemy to appear
But all that we could see
Was people just like you and me
Doing no one any harm that we could tell
Chanting slogans singing songs
As they marched peacefully along
Which was enough to make our bold commander yell
Where's the enemy, oh where's the enemy
Oh doesn't he know that we need somebody to blame
Oh where's the enemy, oh where's the enemy
Oh yes we'll find an enemy somewhere just the same
Some snake got to pay the price
For cheating us at paradise
We were quite content until he interfered
Oh where's the mob, the herd, the horde
Against who we can maintain law and order
Where was the enemy disappeared
Grant us an enemy oh lord
Against who we can maintain law and order
Where was the enemy disappeared
And so we wondered where in all the world the enemy might be
And we finally decided that as far as we could see
One face would fit our nightmares on which we could all agree
So we surroundered our commander and we sang in harmony
There's the enemy, there's the enemy
If we have to have an enemy, why not you
Yes you're the enemy, aye you're the enemy
Aye you're a fink, a fraud, a humbug through and through
With the power that you'd rise
And your xenophobic lies
With your privileges, your wealth, and endless greed
Without you to foster hatred
We might just learn to cooperate
And you are the enemy we don't need
Without you to foster hate and fear
We might learn to cooperate
And you are the enemy we don't need