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Big-Ass Rock
Patrick Wilson, John Ellison Conlee, Jason Danieley
Popularity ยท Moderate
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Let's find a rock, I mean a big-ass rock,
Or maybe something like, a cinder block is better.
I'll hoist it up and drop it on your face, my buddy.
And just before the lights go out,
You'll see my smile and you'll know,
You've got a friend with a rock, who cares.
I mean a big-ass rock.
Or rope, I got some quality rope,
Made for a man who's devoid of hope,
Like you are, my buddy, Michael.
(Uhh, that's Malcolm?)
Yeah, Malcolm, Right!
And I won't leave you swinging there,
Twitching like a fish while you claw the air.
I'll grab your feet and pal of mine,
I'll pull real hard and snap your spinal cord.
This world is cold when you're alone and they ignore you,
But don't kill yourself, we'll do it for you.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
You know, I asked a guy once,
If he'd mind putting me in a barrel,
And sending me over the falls.
You know what the son of a bitch said?
"Drop dead, asshole".
People are pricks.
I asked this guy to take his air compressor,
And drill me with a six-inch nail right through the eye.
What'd he say? "I'm low on nails".
People are selfish pricks.
You know another time, now get this.
I lay down in front of a steam roller,
And asked the guy just to proceed.
You know, business as usual,
And just squash me like a bug.
That's a good way to go, Jer, the ol' bug squash
Hey! We could tie a plastic laundry bag over his head!
Naw, that's such a wimp suicide.
I stuck my finger in a socket once,
It hurt real bad, but it didn't kill me.
Malcolm, stay out of this.
I've got a friend like Carole King,
Or was it Carly Simon used to sing?
I always get those two confused, but anyway.
I turned around and suddenly,
I'm not alone, it ain't just me.
I'm like a player on the team.
(Player on our team)
I'm part of the gang.
(Part of the gang)
A member of the club!
(Welcome to the club)
Ooh, let's get a club!
I like the big-ass rock.
Naw, one good swing and I'll clean his clock forever.
Let gravity do the work!
It's a man's way to die, Mikey! (Malcolm!)
(I got friends)
Friends who will love you like a maniac,
And lead you like a lamb,
To the railroad track and tie you down.
I've got friends!
Or tickle your wrist with a single-edge razor,
Or buy you a beer with a Draino chaser,
Or dump you in the river with a rock!
A big-ass rock.
Here's a nice one right over here,
Hey, can I give you a hand with that? It looks heavy.
No, Dave.
It ain't heavy, he's my friend
Come on, group hug!
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