Salome

Andrew Lloyd Webber, Patti LuPone, Kevin Anderson

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Salomé, what a woman, what a part Innocent body and a sinful heart Enflaming Herod's lust But secretly loving a holy man Nobody can play her like I can Well, I had nothing urgent coming up I thought I might as well skim it It's fun to see how bad bad writing can be This promise to go to the limit There's so many great scenes, I can't wait A boiling cauldron of love and hate She toys with Herod till he's putty in her hands He reels tormented through the desert sand It sure was a real cheery set-up The wind breezing through that organ Max shuffling around And a dead ape dumped on a shelf And her staring like a gorgon They drag the Baptist up from the jails She dances the dance of the seven veils Herod says, "I'll give you anything." Now it was time for some comedy relief The guy with the baby casket Must have seen a thing or two, that chimp Shame it was too late to ask it Have you got to the scene where she asks for his head? If she can't have him living, she'll take him dead They bring in his head on a silver tray She kisses his mouth, it's a great screenplay! It got to be eleven, I was feeling ill What the hell was I doing? Melodrama and sweet champagne And a garbled plot from a scrambled brain But I had my own plot brewing (Spoken) Just how old is Salomé? Sixteen Could be it's a little long Maybe the opening's wrong But it's extremely good for a beginner No, it's a perfect start I wrote that with my heart The river bank, the Baptist and the sinner Shouldn't there be some dialogue? I can say anything I want with my eyes It could use a few cuts I will not have it butchered I'm not talking limb from limb I just mean a little trim All you need is someone who can edit I want someone with a knack Not just any studio hack And don't think for a moment I'd share credit (Spoken) When were you born? December 21st. Why? I like Sagittarians. You can trust them Thanks I want you to do this work. Max! Take Mr. Gillis To the guest room. We'll begin at nine sharp I made the bed up this afternoon Thanks. Say, uh, she's quite a character Isn't she? That Norma Desmond