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Only an Expert
Laurie Anderson with Sexmob
Popularity ยท Low
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
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Now only an expert can deal with a problem
'Cause half the problem is seeing the problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
Only an expert can deal with a problem
So if there's no expert dealing with a problem
It's really actually twice the problem
'Cause only an expert can deal with a problem
Only an expert can deal with a problem
ย
In America we like solutions
We like solutions to problems
And there's so many companies that offer solutions
Companies with names like
The Pet Solution
The Hair Solution
The Debt Solution
The World Solution
The Sushi Solution
Companies with experts ready to solve these problems
'Cause only an expert can see there's a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
Only an expert can deal with a problem
ย
Only an expert
'Cause only an expert
Let's say you're invited to be on Oprah
And you don't have a problem
But you want to go on the show and so you need a problem
And so you invent a problem
But if you're not an expert in problems
You're probably not gonna make up a very plausible problem
And so you're probably gonna get nailed
You're gonna get exposed
And you're gonna have to bow down and apologize
And beg for the public's forgiveness
'Cause only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
ย
And on these shows, the shows that try to solve your problems
The big question is always
How can I get control?
How can I take control?
But don't forget this is a question for the regular viewer
The person who's barely getting by
The person who's watching shows about people with problems
The person who's one of the 60% of the US population
1.3 Weeks away
1.3 Paychecks away
From a shelter
In other words
A person with problems
So when experts say
Let's get to the root of the problem
Let's take control of the problem
'Cause if you take control of the problem
You can solve the problem
Often this doesn't work at all because the situation is
Completely out of control
'Cause only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
ย
Now sometimes experts lend you money
And sometimes they lend you lots of money
And sometimes when the subprime mortgages collapse
And banks close and businesses fail
And the crisis spreads around the world
Sometimes other experts say
Just because all the markets crashed
Doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing
And other experts say
Just because all your friends are fired and your family's broke
And we didn't see it coming doesn't mean that we were wrong
And just because you lost your job and your house and all your savings
Doesn't mean that you don't have to pay for the bailouts
For the traders and the bankers and the speculators
'Cause only an expert can design a bailout
And only an expert can expect a bailout
'Cause only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
ย
And sometimes
When it's really really really really hot
And it's July in January
And there's no more snow
And huge waves are wiping out cities
And hurricanes are everywhere
And everyone knows it's a problem
But if some of the experts say it's no problem
And if other experts claim it's no problem
Or explain why it's no problem
Then it's simply not a problem
But when an expert says it's a problem
And makes a movie about the problem
And wins an Oscar about the problem
And gets the Nobel Prize about the problem
Then all the other experts have to agree
It is most likely a problem
'Cause only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
ย
Even though a country can invade another country
And frighten it and ruin it
And create havoc and civil war in that other country
If the experts say it's not a problem
And everyone agrees they're experts and good at seeing problems
Then invading those countries is simply not a problem
And if a country tortures people
And holds citizens without cause or trial
And sets up military tribunals
This is also not a problem
Unless there's an expert who says
This is the beginning of a problem
'Cause only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
'Cause only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
And only an expert can deal with a problem
'Cause only an expert can see there's a problem
And seeing the problem is half the problem
'Cause only an expert can deal with a problem
Only an expert can deal with a problem
ย