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Checkmate

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How'd you do? I see you've met my faithful handyman He's just a little brought down because when you knocked, He thought you were the candyman Don't get strung up, by the way I look Don't judge a book by its cover I'm not much of a man by the light of day, But by night I'm one hell of a lover I'm just a sweet transvestite From transexual Transylvania Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound You look like you're both pretty groovy Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal, We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie I'm glad we caught you at home. Could we use your phone? We're