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Traveling in Vietnam
Russell Peters
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I learn about the cultures
'Cause I travel around, you know what I mean?
I did shows in Vietnam a few years ago
I had a good time in Vietnam
Vietnam was a great place
Hot as shit, hot as hell in Vietnam
Like when an Indian guy tells you it's hot
Trust me, it was hot
Good place, nice people
I didn't know until I went to Vietnam
That you could actually use a scooter as a minivan
I didn't know
You will see an entire family on a scooter
Like dad will sit here, right, and leave a little piece of seat
And a small child will sit there
And then another small child will stand in front
And then mom will sit off to the side on the back like that
And then another kid will sit off to the side, this way
And one more kid will face that way
And there'll be three kids doing backflips
Whilst he's driving down the street
Like, if you saw that here, that'd be stuff you'd see at like the circus
People would be like, "Do not attempt to do this at home
These are professional stunt drivers"
And there'd be like six white guys, they'd be driving all careful
In Vietnam, like the entire family, dad's weaving in and out of traffic
Meep-meep-meep-meep-meep-meep-meep-meep-meep
Mom's on the back eating
Meep-meep-meep-meep-meep-meep
Good place, Vietnam, I didn't
And you know
If there's any other reason to go to Vietnam
I'll tell you what it is, for their money
The money in Vietnam is dope, you know what it's called?
Dong
That's the name of their money, Dong
It's worth going there
Just to have a woman you don't know walk up to you
And go, "Excuse me, sir, could you give me some Dong?"
Yes I can
Would you like some schlong with that Dong? Would you?
I love that term, schlong, doesn't it sound gross?
White guys came up with that term for sure, right?
Hey dude, there I was, and I whipped out my schlong
Schlong, sounds wet
I don't even have a schlong, you know, I got a schlort
I got a
Hey dude, the show's up here, okay?
I am not a piece of meat
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