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Sir Eagle C*ck III
Taintstick
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
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Back in the time, before time began
When the evil sea turtles
The maddening gunts
The neckless raccoons
And the much feared bush pigs of Dick Doom walked the earth
One man stood for justice, for truth, for all of us
This is his story
Handed down from generation to generation
This is all true
Join me now
As I sing you a tale
The greatest you've ever heard
The bravest of men
The slayer of gunts
Sir Eagle Cock the Third
He comes from a place
It's a magical world
Where things are just not quite real
Where a man with no legs
Runs a charity race
And could still finger Jessica Biel
The man with no penis
Has come to redeem us
And save us from all we fear
The turtles of doom
And vaginas ungroomed
And the gerbils of Richard Gere
He's a man you can count on
He'll climb any mountain
And always he's up for fun
If your chick has a friend
He will always pretend
That the bitch isn't ugly or dumb
There once was a time
Without reason or rhyme
When the one legged sea gunt awoke
It was death or romance
And so off came his pants
And he gave her a charity poke
So gather round children
Be silent and listen
To stories you've never heard
Of neckless raccoons
And bush pigs of Dick Doom
A hero who's half-man, half-bird
If you think you've seen it
You only have dreamed it
'Cause eagles have no dick or balls
A cock in name only
He has no baloney
Our hero has no cock at all
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