Fo Funky Stories
Rodney O, Joe Cooley
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Lyrics
One, two, three, ho
On the south side, Rodney O was now cruisin'
All of a sudden, my car stops movin'
Could I be out of gas? Hell no!
Last night I filled up at Texaco
Pop the hood, smoke started comin' up
Looked around and some punks started runnin' up
Reached into the car under the driver's seat
Showed the metal and they took off down the street
Then I said to myself, "I better find a phone"
Better yet, I better not leave my car alone
You know what's up when they be smokin' the rocks
Come back and your car be on crates of blocks
Yo, Rodney O won't go out like a biscuit
Better call triple A to come fix it
With all that went wrong, looks like I lucked up
From down the street drivin' up was a tow truck
Flagged 'em down, got the 40 dollar hook-up
Hitch the car, now it's time for me to book up
Rollin' out then I looked to my left
Saw the punks from before jackin' somebody else
Funky stories
Four funky stories
One down, three more to go, yo
Playin' some ball at the neighborhood gym
Feelin' good 'cause every shot is goin' in
I hit the winnin' basket and I holler out, "Game
Get off the court and remember my name"
But in through the door comes brother Joe Acker
Plays basketball like a middle linebacker
Shoes worn out, socks to his knees
Smellin' like Benz gay, rollin' up his sleeves
"Yo, who got next?" he starts askin'
Everybody knows that brother Joe's good for hackin'
Now he's slappin' on my arm when I dribble
I'm gettin' mad, and I'm frownin' up a little
But I try to stay calm and all that
But next time down court, he jumps all over my back
"Yo, what's up with all that? Why don't you play right?
'Cause if you ain't, we can have a fist fight"
He runs down the court like it was nothin'
I run up to him 'cause I ain't bluffin'
But he got the ball and made a shot
Everybody's laughin', now I'm callin' for the rock
I take brother Joe to the hoop real strong
And this time he got hit in the stomach wrong
He lost his air and fell down
I jumped in the air, double pumped, then I threw it down
After that I had nothin' to say
'Cause I knew brother Joe was done for the day
Funky stories
Two down, two more to go
In the city one night me and Dru was rollin' out
Headed to a store playin' music, just bonin' out
Got pulled over, don't know why or for what
Cop came to the window and I said, "What's up?"
"Where you goin', son? Let me see your ID
And your registration for this SEC"
"What's the big deal? Did I run a red light?
Or do you just gotta mess with someone tonight?"
He said, "Don't get smart, I'll write you up a citation"
I said, "Go ahead 'cause my time you're wastin'
And if you want, you can search my Benz
So call for backup and invite your friends"
The cop got mad and said, "I'll let you go"
I said, "I know 'cause you can't fade Rodney O"
Funky stories
Three down, one more to go
Had a date with a fly cutie that I just met
She led me on like she was soft and wet
So I wanted to hook up ASAP
And after the date, get the goods immediately
She told me on the phone everything was her treat
She was gonna pick me up and take me out to eat
I gave her the directions to my place
But I took the Y, just in case
And it was on, meanin' too good to be true
Reservation for two with a romantic view
Picked up the menu, then I put it down
I didn't know we was in the highest place in town
But she smiled and looked at me like it was okay
That's when I knew I'd be orderin' 'til the next day
We made a toast, friends for a long time
Knowin' that later on I was gonna get mine
But I played the role real smooth
Actin' like I wasn't even in the mood
And when it came time for the check
The waiter came back and said the card was rejected
No sweat, she pulled out another one
So I kicked back, 'cause I was havin' fun
Waiter came back, same routine
I was on a date with the credit card queen
She left the table and went to the powder room
How come girls can't never say bathroom?
But anyway, she was gone for 20 minutes
The waiter thought that this was a plan, and I was in it
I realized she was gone, so I paid the tab
Went outside so I could call me a cab
I never saw the girl, but I fell in love again
'Cause the cab driver happened to be my ex-girlfriend
Funky stories
Four down, no more to go
No more to go