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The Central Scrutinizer

Frank Zappa
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Sometimes when you're not looking he Just sneaks up on You he looks like a cheap sort of flying Saucer about five feet across With a snout-like megaphone Apparatus in the front with two big eye Nted like appletons with miniature Motorized frowning chrome Eyebrows over them along the side of His disc-like body are several Sets of stupid-looking Headers and exhaust hoses which apparentl Pel him and punctuate his dialogue With horrible smelling smoke Rings in the middle of his head we Can see an airport wind Sock and constantly twirling Anemometer the bottom of him has a landi Ght and three spoked wheels in Spite of all this It is obvious that the way he really gets Around is by being dangled from place To place by a union guy with a Dark green shirt up in the roof S eating a sandwich (pieces of which drop off every once in A while and lodge themselves near The hole where they put the oil In that makes the cheap smoke) He hovers into view and speaks to us thusly Central scrutinizer: This is the central scrutinizerit is My responsibility to enforce All the laws that haven't been passed yet It is also my responsibility To alert each and Every one of you to the potential c Uences of various ordinary Everyday activities you might be performing Which could eventually lead to The death penalty (or affect your parents' credit rating) Our criminal institutions are f F little creeps like you who do Wrong thingsand many of them Were driven to these crimes by A horrible force called music! Our studies have shown that this Horrible force is so Dangerous to society at large That laws are being Drawn up at this very moment to stop it Forever! cruel and inhuman punishments Are being c Lly described in tiny paragraphs so they Won't conflict with the constitution (which, it'self, is being modified in order To accommodate the future) I bring you now a special Presentation to show what Can happen to you if you choose a Career in musicthe white zone Is for loading and Unloading onlyif you have to load or unload Go to th te zone you'll love itit's a way of Lifeha, ha, ha, ha, hahi, it's me I'm back this is the central Scrutinizerthe white zone is For loading and unloading onlyif Yah gotta loa if yah gotta unload Go to the white zone you'll Love itit's a way of life that's right You'll Love it, it's a way of life, that's right You'll love it, it's a way of life You'll love i Is, is, the central scrutinizer!