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Getting Married Today
Cast of Glee
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Lyrics
Original
Translation
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Bless this day, pinnacle of life
Husband joined to wife
The heart leaps up to behold
This golden day
Emma, I can't find my shoes
Today is for Emma
Emma, I give you the rest of my life
To cherish and to keep you, to honor you forever
Today is for Emma, my happily soon-to-be wife
Emma, we're really getting married
Pardon me, is everybody there?
Because if everybody's there
I wanna thank you all for coming to the wedding
I'd appreciate you going even more
I mean, you must have lots of better things to do
And not a word of this to Will, remember Will
You know the man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not
'Cause I wouldn't ruin anyone as wonderful as he is
But I thank you all for the gifts and the flowers
Thank you all, now it's back to the showers
Don't tell Will, but I'm not getting married today
Bless this day, tragedy of life
Husband yoked to wife
The heart sinks down and feels dead
This dreadful day
Emma, I can't find my good cuff links
They're on the dresser, right next to my suicide note
Listen, everybody, look
I don't know what you're waiting for, a wedding?
What's a wedding? It's a prehistoric ritual
Where everybody promises fidelity forever
Which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of
Which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize he's
Saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should so
Thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married
Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married
You've been grand, but I'm not getting married
Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married
And don't tell Will, but I'm not getting married today
Go, can't you go? Why is nobody listening?
Goodbye, go and cry at another person's wake
If you're quick, for a kick, you could pick up a christening
But please, on my knee there's a human life at stake!
Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear
Or do you want to see a crazy lady fall apart in front of you
It isn't only Will who may be ruining his life
You know, we'll both of us be losing our identities
I telephoned my analyst about it, and he said to see him Monday
But by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with the other garbage-
I'm not well, so I'm not getting married
You've been swell, but I'm not getting married
Clear the hall, 'cause I'm not getting married
Thank you all, but I'm not getting married
And don't tell Will, but I'm not getting married today
Bless this bride, totally insane
Slipping down the drain
And bless this day in our hearts
As it starts to rain
Today is for Emma (go, can't you go?)
Look, you know I adore you all (Emma, I give you)
But why watch me die (the rest of my life) like Eliza on the ice?
Look, perhaps I'll collapse (to cherish and to keep you)
In the apse right before you all
So take back the cake (to honor you forever)
Burn the shoes, and boil the rice
Look, I didn't want to have to tell you (today is for Emma)
But I may be coming down with hepatitis (my, happily, soon-to-be wife)
I think I'm gonna faint
So if you wanna see me faint, I'll do it happily
But wouldn't it be funnier to go and watch a funeral? (My adorable wife)
So thank you for the 27 dinner plates
37 butter knives, 47 paperweights, 57 candleholders
One more thing (I'm not getting married) amen!
(Softly said) but I'm not getting married, amen!
(With this ring) still, I'm not getting married, amen!
(I thee wed) still, I'm not getting married, amen!
Let us pray that we are not getting married today!