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The Dog Had to Be Trained
Bill Engvall
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My neighbor just bought one of these new invisible pet fences. You
Know, that cable that shocks the dog? And he's bragging about it. He
Goes, "It cost me a thousand dollars." I'm thinking, "Just go get an
Invisible dog." 'Cause you think about that. You walk in somebody's
Yard, the guy goes, "Man, I got a dog that'll eat you up." You're
Gonna be like, "Well, where is he?" And he goes, "That's all you need
To know." You're gonna be a little wary. Now, he's got one of these
Omen dogs, those Rottweilers. And every day, that dog would wait for
Me to walk down the sidewalk, and he'd wait till I got between the
Car parked on the street and the chain link fence, so I had nowhere
To go. He had the timing perfect. I'd get right there, boy, he'd come
Out of them bushes, Man, every night, I'd jump up on the car, cuss
The dog, and if a dog could laugh... This dog laughed every day
Well, then his owner tore down that chain link fence and buried that
Invisible pet cable. Well, the dog had to be trained. Well, I was
More than happy to help with the training of that dog. I looked
Forward to our training sessions. I'd go walking down the sidewalk
I'd get to that fella's yard, I'd walk right in the middle of that
Yard. Here come that dog. And I'd jump back across that cable
He'd hit it. And by God, I can laugh, and I did. But you know what's
Sad? Is ever since he buried that pet cable, it's killed that dog
And my's relationship. Now the dog don't even care. I'll walk right
In the guy's house. Dog looks at me like, "Whatever. Jewelry's in
That drawer right there. Go get it. I ain't gonna stop you. He's
Shocking me everywhere I go." And you know that this dog had to
Have been shocked like a thousand times before he realized this
Was bad. Because we love our dogs, but let's face it, they're not
The brightest animal to come out of the pet store, are they? No
They're not. It's the same animal that goes for the fake throw every
Time. But that's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want
Buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've
Already got men. And fellas, fellas, I've tried not to do that joke
Lord knows I've looked at that joke
Every which way you can look at it
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