Just Once

Ethan Horahn

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I took your shirt off the chair today Still smells like your skin God, i hate it Told my friends i’m fine But honestly I’m dancing with your ghost at 2 am I hate myself for loving you.. You said love should feel like freedom But i’m trapped in what we used to be Your silence wraps around my neck Like a thread i can’t break clean Deleted your number But i know it by heart Tore up the letters But i kept the lines Where you wrote “i was your home...” Now there’s nothing left to hold Just the ghost of “almost” We burned out like a cigarette Still warm on my throat I stripped your name off every wall But my skin still hums your echo You left without goodbye But i still carry your shadow My playlist still plays all your songs Guess the algorithm knows i’m lying Each photo i scroll past Cuts like a knife dressed up as art I post like i’m glowing Like i’m gold But the caption never says the ache You said i needed space to grow But space just feels like break I’m not mad... Just empty You were my whole damn sky Now every star Feels out of place And i can’t remember why Now there’s nothing left to hold But the ghost of “almost” We burned out like a cigarette Still warm on my throat I stripped your name off every wall But my skin still hums your echo You left without goodbye But i still carry your shadow I hate myself for loving you But i still dream 'bout the lovin' you do Tried to unlove you a hundred times But my heart’s not done yet ]can’t break free from what we were You haunt every “move on” i try I wanna run But i just run back every time I still wear your breath like velvet On nights the sheets feel too wide And i lie, saying i’ve let go But my hands still remember your light Mmm I lie, just once... There’s nothing left to hold Just the weight of “what if” Still waiting for a message You’ll never hit “send” You walked away so clean But i’m still wearing your goodbye like skin Still here... Still yours... Even if you never call again... Just once... I wish you'd come back....... Just once... (just once)