Skip to content
Lyric
Dive
Public playlists
My playlists
Search
Sign in
Passenger's Always Right
Noël Coward
Popularity · Low
+
🇬🇧 English · Original
0
0
YouTube
Searching YouTube...
Lyrics
Original
Translation
Bilingual
The passenger's always right
The woman in cabin 49 has lost her diamond brooch
Calm her, Carrington, charm her, Carrington
That's the correct approach
A gentleman on the Promenade Deck just called me a lazy slob
Smile at him, Hoskins, smile at him, Hoskins
That is part of your job
The three fat children in B-Deck Three
Have thrown their bath-mat into the sea
The silly old broad in Main Deck Two
Has dropped her dentures down the loo
Passengers since the world began
Have been querulous, rude, and snooty
England expects that every man
This day should do his duty
Weatherby, here, Hoskins, here
Greenblake, Richardson, here, here, here
Crawford, here, Shuttleworth, here
Smith, Brown, Parkinson, here, here, here
Where the devil are Bruce and Frome?
One got shingles, and the other's gone home
Where's O'Riley and Jock McBride?
One got married and the other got fried
Carrington, here, Brewster, here
Where's young Fawcett and Windermere?
Fawcett stayed home in bed
Poor old Windermere dropped down dead
The start of each cruise is the time I choose
To lecture each subordinate
You're not damn fools, and you know the rules
So see you all co-ordinate
We've heard all this before
We can't stand anymore
Bow, smile, charm, tact
Never forget one vital fact
The passenger's always right, my boys, the passenger's always right
Although he's a drip, he's paid for
His trip, so greet him with delight
Agree to all suggestions, however coarse or crude
Reply to all his questions, ply him with drinks, stuff him with food
The passenger may be sober, boys, the passenger may be tight
The passenger may be foe or friend or absolutely round the bend
But nurse him, curse him, only when the bastard's out of sight
The passenger's always right
The passenger's always right, my boys, the passenger's always right
Those dreary old wrecks who litter the decks demand that you're polite
Don't count on any free time, be kind to all the jerks
And every day at tea-time, stuff 'em with cake, give 'em the works
The passenger may be dull, my boys, the passenger may be bright
The passenger may be quite serene or gibbering with benzedrine
But calm him, charm him, even though he's higher than a kite
Remember, boys, the goddamn passenger's always right