Christmas Time Again (Dear Craig)
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There's a man looking out of his window
Looking up at the sky, and he's waiting on you
33, and he still believes in Santa
For 11 months there's nothing to do
All his life he's been in and out of rehab
And all the shrinks said sorry I'm passing on you
All he wants is the season of December
Only Christmas will do
He doesn't do Easter because he's lactose intolerant
And he really hates the summertime because it's way too dam hot
And he will not do October because he doesn't like the spooks
No, Craig can't wait for Christmas time this year
Dear Craig, this is for you
He replies to an add can His dreams come true
At the mall, he could finally meet Santa
But he wakes up and sees that we're only in June
The sun is beaming down and doesn't help his anger
Six more gruelling months of nothing to do
Every day, he tries to crack a smile. When will this end
He'll take a pass on valentines Day because loves too hard to find
And he despises the new year. Because last week's left behind
He's sick of all the waiting. Only one event will do, yeah
Craig can't wait for Christmas
Red alert news just in
Christmas has been cancelled
What will he do, What can he do, Nothing to do
Craig's horrified as he's reading down his socials
He stands up fast And hits his head. He hits his head
Craig wakes up new
There's a man looking out of his window
Friends walk by Craig says how do you do
He can't wait to spend the summer in his garden
He's even booked on a holiday on a cruise for two
As it creeps up slowly towards winter
Craig finds there now so much to do
He now looks forward to and enjoys all the seasons
But one event won't do
Now Craig really likes Easter, and he's dairy free, no moo
And he smiles at the summertime he finds so much to do
But his favourite is October, and he'll scare you half to death
But Craig now hates on one thing
Craig can't wait for Christmas time to end