Thinking, Always Thinking
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Don't want bandaids or the pills
Just an all inclusive cure
Something I can eat for breakfast
That will make me always sure
Not doubting everything about everyone
About something dumb that I should have done
Maybe thinking less is the cure I want
But it's also all that I have become
Thinking, always thinking
Wished for a switch-off button to my brain
Wished for hypnosis, wished for death
Always wished more or less
But all I am is what I am not
Never happy or good enough
I want the good things
The things I cannot have
What the sickness chose
That I should never get
Fuck this brain, fuck fuckworld but I live here
In this prison of terminal illness nightmare
I'm a cliché of myself
But I keep on writing whether you want me to or not
'Cause it's the only thing that I've got
It's the only thing that I've got
Will you take what I give?
Even if it's pure toxic?
I promised to be better
While I kept on cutting
And I kept on isolating myself
Even though I knew it hurt you
And I see my mother in the mirror
And it fucks me up
Cus I'm not what I want
Or what anyone wants
Cus I'm not what I want
Or what anyone wants
I'm not what I want
Or what anyone wants