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VII. After Everything
STYXVII
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Sometimes I'm scared you hate me, cause
There's just no way you don't by now
You find a way to get through somehow
So I can hide all my shame
I can't hide everything that's wrong with me, you
See right through my games
But I still try to run away, I just can't
Face your welcoming gaze
I feel so safe, so incredibly safe, but is it okay to feel this way after everything?
I'm so up and down, all over the place, do I deserve to be held so tenderly?
No strings attached
No expectations from the past, just loving and being loved
You're far too kind, so incredibly kind, to someone so cruel to you; I'll never understand why (Why, why?)
Would it be selfish to admit
That nothing has ever felt like
A home until we met? And yet
I still try to tear it down
I can't feel comfortable sitting idly in this peaceful home we've made
There's something deep inside me so wrong with me that hates the place I'm safe
I feel so safe, so incredibly safe, but is it okay to feel this way after everything?
I'm so up and down, all over the place, do I deserve to be held so tenderly?
No strings attached
No expectations from the past, just loving and being loved
You're far too kind, so incredibly kind, to someone so cruel to you
I'll never understand why (Why, why?)
It's the anticipation
That everything was just a lie, a little game you play with my heart
And I remind myself how hard it is to believe that about you
You, who does so much to make me feel loved
In my worst moments you're always the one
And somehow, I get lost in these narratives, causing problems when I
Feel so safe, so incredibly safe, but is it okay to feel this way after everything?
I'm so up and down, all over the place, do I deserve to be held so tenderly?
No strings attached
No expectations from the past, just loving and being loved
You're far too kind, so incredibly kind, to someone so cruel to you; I'll never understand why (Why, why?)
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