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Feel Shit
Merkules
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First I breathe in the smoke, then I exhale slow
Til' there's nothing else left but the ashes
From all this weed I blow, to all these drinks I pour
There ain't nothing else left but the ashes
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
And I can't be sober, when I'm alone
A hundred missed calls on my phone
I'm having withdrawals, leave me alone
Leave me alone, feel it in my bones
I hide it all inside
I question myself, am I runnin' from something?
I put in the work, went from nothing to something
I still gotta deal with these fucked up assumptions
I'm drunk when in public, still chuggin' and numbin'
I was at rock bottom and I cried for help
So I had to take a break just to find myself
Never been to Heaven, spent some time in Hell
Inside my shell, revenge, what I'm trynna smell
I know it's all my fault, I'm the one to blame
Instead of facin' those fears, I would runaway
Couldn't tell apart all the love hate
So fuck the fame, I guess it's my drug of taste
I gotta clear my head and just hit restart
I just did 25 shows and there's 15 more
But when the cycle repeats, it won't get me far
So I hide my pain deep within' these scars
I got everybody sayin' I deserve to win
But is it worth the regret, is it worth the sins?
It hurts within, I'm thinkin' about my worth again
I had to swim across the water, cuz I brunt the bridge
So I try to get by, but I hide shit inside
And I act like I'm havin' the time of life
And I can't see the darkness if I'm in the light
So if silence is golden? Then I'll be alright
Cause I breathe in this smoke
Then I exhale slow
Til there's nothing else left but the ashes
From all this weed I blow to all these drinks I pour
There ain't nothin' else left but the ashes
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I've been on the bottom with all of the maggots
I relapsed again and fell off of the wagon
I guess I'm just hoping that all of my habits will finally help me to deal with the baggage I'm carryin'
This life of sin, I'm thinking again
Of all the friends I ended up buryin'
All the dreams I done and see perishin'
Man, it's imperative I change the narrative
Know what is wrong, knew all along
Deep in my heart I'm trying to fly
Why does it feel like I'm dying to live
But at the same time I'm trying to die
Won't you help me, Lord?
I know I've been selfish, Lord
I know I've been wrong
But I feel like I've been to hell before
I just pour another drink to try to take the pain away
Wonderin', is today the day that I'mma change my ways?
No amount of cocaine could ever keep me numb
From the shit that I done, done
And the past I'm runnin' from
First I breathe in the smoke
Then I exhale slow
Til there's nothing else left but the ashes
From all this weed I blow to all these drinks I pour
There ain't nothin' else left but the ashes
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
I feel like I don't wanna feel shit (I don't wanna feel shit)
And I can't be sober when I'm alone
A hundred missed calls on my phone
I'm havin' withdrawals, leave me alone
Leave me alone, I feel it in my bones
I hide it all inside
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