The lyrics present a boastful speaker who offers cheap, secret help to people facing problems: trouble at school, heartbreak, or an unwanted relationship. Each situation is treated as a reason to call him, and the repeated promise of โdirty deedsโ makes his services sound both criminal and absurdly easy to buy. The mood is mischievous and theatrical, not a serious account of someone seeking ordinary advice.
Several phrases carry implied meanings. โGive you the bluesโ means make you feel unhappy, while โdouble-dealingโ suggests betrayal or dishonesty. โBack door manโ implies someone who works secretly, outside normal rules. The final listโโconcrete shoes,โ โcyanide,โ and โTNTโโuses vivid criminal images to suggest violence and intimidation, making the speakerโs claims more extreme.
The lyrics leave the exact nature of the speakerโs services unclear. He may be threatening real harm, exaggerating to sound dangerous, or playing a comic character who offers outrageous solutions for money. The contrast between serious problems and the catchy, repeated sales pitch creates much of the humor. โDirt cheapโ means very inexpensive, but here it also strengthens the sense that the speaker treats wrongdoing as a bargain.