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Keith

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Keith There's a man at the Malvern TAB Bald head, tatted up, bout six foot three He was our neighbour when we lived on Hotham Street And though we never got his name, we called him Keith Keith had a white Volkswagen Amarok that he parked out front his house With a steel two-wheeler trailer that he liked to tow around One day a mate was coming round and parked out on the street And little did we know we had just started World War Three Little did we know we had just started World War Three The bloke was seething He was enraged Knocked on our door Like a dog in a cage We opened up His face was red Took off his speedies and he said Don't fuck with my trailer cunt Don't park in my spot It's the second time this week And I'm about to lose the plot I phoned up the council And the bloke said it was mine Move your shitheap of a car To the other fucking side Keith! It was a Sunday afternoon in early Spring The family across the road had a gathering A pregnant woman pulled up in a CRV Spotted a park and said well that's for me Well wouldn't you know, that very moment around the corner came Keith He pulled his ute up next to her and then he said quite cordially Well g'day love, that's my house, so you'll have to park elsewhere She said surely you could just as easily park it over there Surely you could just as easily park it over there And from our porch We watched the scene As something snapped The man turned green He pointed his finger And he said it clear Opened up his lungs for the world to hear Don't fuck with my trailer cunt Don't park in my spot It's the second time this week And I'm about to lose the plot I phoned up the council And the bloke said it was mine Move your shitheap of a car To the other fucking side Keith! It was a Tuesday afternoon we last saw Keith The A Current Affair crew came rolling down the street He heard a knock and opened up his door Shocked and perplexed Tracey Grimshaw? She held the mic right up to his face Called him out for everything and said you're a disgrace But Keith wasn't listening, his eyes were locked deadpan Staring at the camera crew and where they parked the van He said Don't fuck with my trailer cunt Don't park in my spot (Keith, no) It's the second time this week And I'm about to lose the plot (Don't do it!) I phoned up the council And the bloke said it was mine Move your shitheap of a car To the other fucking side (Keith no!) Keith! Keith!