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This Time

Sarah Jickling and Her Good Bad Luck
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๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง English ยท Original

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I make myself sick I can't help it I've always had this darkness Who am I without it? My thoughts have run wild Twenty-two years And I'd expected by now I'd have swallowed my fears But every time I break down Hysterically I say it's the very last time I swear it will be I try to change, I try to cope I always climb back from the edge of my rope This time This time is different This time This time is different I'm gonna try A new medication Eastern religion Or form of meditation I'll change how I eat They'll change how I speak And I'll repeat my mantra Before I go to sleep But suddenly it sinks in There's no time to fight it I say it's the very last time I can't keep going like this I'm gonna change, I'm gonna cope I'm gonna hold on to what's left of my hope This time This time is different This time This time is different I like his eyes And I like his brain He makes me laugh And I make him do the same But he doesn't know I can't keep it together I know I can love him As soon as I get better But what if I break down Hysterically? I say it's the very last time Oh God, I hope it will be I'm gonna change, take control From now on I swear I'm normal This time This time I'm different This time This time I'm different Can you see my face? Does it look like I'm lying? I'm gonna be okay Or I'm gonna die trying Can you see my face? Does it look like I'm lying? I'm gonna be okay Or I'm gonna die trying Can you see my face? Does it look like I'm lying? I'm gonna be okay Or I'm gonna die trying This time This time I'm different (what if I'm not?) (What if I'm not?) This time This time I'm different (what if I'm not?) (What if I'm not?) This time This time I'm different