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ambulance atmosphere atonement article afterlife animal affection alcohol attachment? in a time like this? i can only think of being held, by you, who has never held me before i can only think of being held, by you, who will then have to let me go i can only think of being held, by you, and then i begin to think of more consequential matters โ€จ bandana blasphemy ballistics bicycle botany baptism battery balcony beginning of a new world i can see land from where i am sleeping we can grow there, if we do not sink the water is up to my knees and i believe in whatโ€™s to come โ€จ capital customer cognition computer countenance companion colony creation call everyone youโ€™ve ever loved and tell them the story there was once something beautiful here and itโ€™s just nice to be able to speak to someone who saw it too distortion dilation dynasty december dopamine difference density devotion distance is the only thing keeping me alive if i let you in where will i stand please tell me, where do we stand? i did not want to stand here alone โ€จ energy expression element enterprise envelope equation endearment emptiness estimate the future and divide it by two add three multiply by seven keep the answer to yourself, itโ€™s not something iโ€™d like to hear โ€จ family funeral foundation furniture frequency follower fairytale fundraiser feeling rather than touching to be sensed, a sensation when i walk down the street people do not notice me and they walk directly into my physical form as if it was just a memory i was reliving in a sunlit room far away from here, a ghost from my own past โ€จ gallery gravity genesis gasoline genetics graffiti guardian gathering gripping onto the railing, i walk down, remembering that everything that can be lost will be lost when they said they would reach out later, i believed them, forgetting that i had walked down the steps my grandmother, i have to call my grandmotherโ€จ hydrogen history happiness hospital habitat highlighter harmony halloween how many people would it take to change enough lightbulbs for us to see something far greater than ourselves our shadows stand behind us, doomed to follow in our footstepsโ€จ internet insurance illusion interest inception innocence instrument infection imagine imagining a better world stop drawing lines for everyoneโ€™s sake, please stop drawing the fucking linesโ€จ javelin jugular jealousy jewelry jupiter juvenile journalist jackhammer justice is a hard thing to come by, they stopped selling it in the stores i once heard of a man who sold typewriters out of his garage in san franciscoโ€จ kilogram kinetics kingfisher kidnapper kodiak kentucky koala kindliness keeping my feet on the floor and my back straight and my arms out and my head tilted and my knees bent and my heart beating and beating and beating and beating โ€จ library lovelessness lottery levitate ligament location litterbug letterpress living after thatโ€™s all we can attempt to doโ€จ memory media melody mercury mitosis messenger mosquito monument mistakes, you kept making them you can try forever and thatโ€™s all it will ever amount to i saw you desire perfection and i wondered if you had ever felt calmโ€จ nobody narrator novocaine notary nonfiction novelty nursery nonevent nothing is unachievable i have searched everywhere for it seeking to transform into a concept that defies the laws of being but i wake up in the morning and i go to sleep at inight i will die as an object or perhaps even as a subject โ€จ oxygen opposites opening obsession oblation overload objective overture on the last day on the first day on any of the days in between i had no idea it was that day until it was over โ€จ parallel proportion packaging paradox procession policy producer prediction partially due to my inability to be known, iโ€™ve become partial to someone who does not see me yet here i am pained when all of this this is proven true โ€จ quality quarantine quarterback quietness quantity questionnaire quantify quotation quit demanding walls to be built by bricks that are crumbling in our hands i want to see the other side of this facade who is operating the heavy machinery under consumption of fear โ€จ rosary replica receiver rhetoric remainder refraction resistance retriever rising the sun does it every single day without complaint no one pushes it back down, it does so on its own volition โ€จ suggestion surgery spectator signature statistics sentiment salvation selection smiling in the face of a well so deep that only those who never plan on returning gaze inside there is a sense of joy in the acceptance of all that destroys it we can laugh about it later โ€จ traveler tinnitus tradition telescope tolerance transition temperance tartarus tell me i am tell me you are tell me i am tell me you are tell me i am tell me you are youโ€™re a liar, arenโ€™t you โ€จ uniform uselessness urgency utensil ultraism utterance usurper utopist under no circumstances can we continue as we had before that is the only certainty i have come to there has never been anything to prove me wrong sometimes i wish i was, there are many moments i long to return to, people and decisions โ€จ virulence vexation vanity vibration vocation vertebrate variant vacuity voluntarily knowing i had no choice in the matter, we are all here to do our jobs i show up, i clock in, i show up, i clock in, i show up, i clock in i have never clocked out and i am scared of the inevitable โ€จ wilderness weariness wretchedness woodcutter windowsill withdrawal wallpaper watchmaker what is one personโ€™s pain but only a small remnant of the worldโ€™s most common experience i watched my father cry i cried until my nose bled โ€จ xanthosis xylograph xenarthra xenotime xenograft xenolith xylophone xenophon xoxo yours truly even when i should be mine and mine alone โ€จ yesterday youthfulness yieldingness yearnfulness yokeldom yardmaster yosemite yenisei yeah i get the words i see them i read them i take them in they become me and i become an amalgamation of experiences i will never knowโ€จ zeppelin zoology ziggurat zymosis zodiac zootheism zetetics zealousy zephyr, blowing in i see the branches of the tree swaying i think to myself, it would be nice to be a singularity of a whole and then i think about the people who complete me and i feel content and then i think about losing them and i feel everything else the branches remain unchanged, or at least not in ways that i will ever be able to understand anarchy bewilderment contagious deliverance epitome fatality grandeur habitual innovation january ketamine lingering monumental negligible obscenity pavement quota romantic sanitation tangible ushered vulnerable withering xerox zenith