A Fine Romance

The speaker describes a relationship that is called “a fine romance,” but feels frustratingly cold and uneventful. At first, the tone is teasing: she jokes about how little emotion her partner shows. As the lyrics continue, the humor becomes sharper, revealing disappointment and a wish for affection. The final line makes clear that her sarcasm comes from feeling let down, not from being indifferent.

Several images make the lack of warmth vivid. Comparing the partner to seals that “flap their fins” suggests that even animals show more feeling than he does. “No kisses” and “no clinches” (close embraces) plainly point to missing physical affection. The speaker’s remark that she has never disturbed the crease in his trousers because she “never get[s] the chance” is a playful, indirect way to say that they are not intimate. Comparing him to the Ile de France, a large ship, suggests he is difficult to approach or win over.

The repeated phrase “a fine romance” is ironic: the relationship may be polite and free of arguments, but it lacks excitement and closeness. “You take romance, I’ll take jello” sounds like a comic rejection of romance as it exists between them. Still, the lyrics do not tell us whether the partner is deliberately distant or simply unresponsive; the focus is on how the speaker experiences the relationship.