Grateful Rays Interlude
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So the last time I got high
I got high for like 5 days straight
I was geeking
Went home, stumbled home to
My little basement apartment
And I cried there for like five hours
Next thing you know
I start making meetings
I get clean 90 days
You know 30 days, 60 days
And even though I was getting clean
I kept hustling
The thing is, you know
Hustling clean and responsible
That whole thing flourished so
I'm making you know
A few hundred dollars a week to
Five hundred a thousand a week, to
Ten thousand to like thirty thousand
Forty thousand a month
Back then, I'm thinking I arrived
And it was cool, and it was a lot of people around
And when I'm having barbecues
In my big house
When people are on my boat
When we're at the boat club
But when people would start to leave
I would get that voidy feeling
My whole life I thought
The problem was that I was poor
And I was a drug addict now I'm not
I got money and I'm clean and
I'm living that quote-unquote life
I was still miserable bro
Deep down inside I was just miserable
And I always believed in God
I didn't know what
You know, Jesus was, none of that stuff
I didn't know like the Gospels
I just always believed in God since I was a kid
It was me in this big house by myself
I said "whatever it means
To give my life to you
I want to give my life to you."
And I said this, I said
"I don't know if I'm gonna be
Walking around with a Bible under my arm
Or what that looks like, but I'm done."
And I went upstairs, I fell asleep
I woke up to the guy you know today
Stopped cursing, stopped hustling
You know all the stuff
That comes with that sinful life
That was the real, the God moment
You know what I'm saying?
The spirit of the Lord was upon me
I guess right
Now that I'm thinking about it
23 years clean my boy?
23 joints, including weekends