Mom, I'm Tired
Kaumayy
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i keep encountering this person i know, and i hate them with all my heart
they're 18, black hair, kind of stupid, kind of lame, kind of art
we grew up in the same house, around the same people but we had different lives
and i turned out sad and anxious and lonely but they turned out fine
I have a scar on my left foot, it takes me back to 25
But I can only feel it at night
When the lights go down and my bed is a boat
And everything's out of sight
I had a dream about john wayne gacy
I didn't know who he was, until I found out.
And I woke up screaming crying thrashing around like I was dying in my childhood bed but my mum wasn't there
And it almost felt like drowning but in real life I was walking to some door behind my father's bed.
And the next day i wake up and I'm like you know what I'm gonna try to have a good day today and then id find myself sitting in the bathroom floor bawling my eyes out over something that happened three years ago and t id starve myself to death until I can force myself to eat and suddenly it's 3 am midnight
And id probably go to bed upset
Wake up saying I need to kill myself but as I turn off the lights and draw the curtains and I look in the mirror and I think about hurting myself
I'm a suicidal bag wrapped in family and friends but I don't wanna die as my eyes are closing
Maybe tomorrow I'll try again
I had a dream about john wayne gacy
I didn't know who he was, until I found out.
And I woke up screaming crying thrashing around like I was dying in my childhood bed but my mum wasn't there
And it almost felt like drowning but in real life I was walking to some door behind my father's bed.